Moving in Stillness

Soooooo...yeah

The last 2 or 3 or 4 days have not been as smooth as the first how many ever...

No Blame! It is what it is...(unless it is something different)

Yeah!

I am brought back to a conversation I had a while back while directing a play called The Meeting, it is an interesting play about a "hypothetical" meeting that takes place between Dr. Martin Luther King and Malcolm X. Me and the two characters would have conversations all the time about the state of Black America...how it has changed and how it is the same and everything just to help flesh out the characters. One of the cats said one day that Black Folks would get better when we get soooo fed up with things as they are that we have to change...

That would play in my head from time to time but on a personal level...

I do not want to get so fed up with my Life that I "have" to change...

I want and need my change to continue to be voluntary...by choice and not necessity...

I love the idea of choosing and choice...It is a beautiful thing!

Life is a beautiful thing...

As I sat in this management office today realizing that these folks may not be who they said they were...my first thought was not again...

You know the thing that is kind of legitimate...we love you! We promise to work hard for you, but you gotta use our photographer...who in turn cost a grip...why can't I use mine? Well...blah blah blah blah...

Dude...their photographer is not nearly as dope as the photographers I know...

Anywho...came home and sulked for a second actually a few hours...but whatever...I will continue to move forward...I got over it. I am moving on to this upcoming week and looking forward to continuing to create and live freely...

In my perpetual need to be "doing" something I often forget to just stop and breathe... relax and be still... allow things to move through me instead of forcing things...

The difference between effort and struggle...

To be successful definitely takes an effort...

The difference is where am I putting my energy, and how am I using it...

I'm talking about practice... repetition

Reforming old things into new ways of looking at Life and MySelf...

I really do see a difference in me now...and am thankful for that...

I noticed just this morning I had not complained in weeks about the litany of things I usually vent about...and gave(giving) thanks for that

Yeah...

That was all over the place probably, I am not going to go back and double check it for I may change some things and I feel I just need to let it all go...

The real elephant in the living room for me though is the trepidation that engulfs me when I think about being in a committed relationship...

Kind of dramatic right? haha Clearly overexaggerating but you get the picture...

The idea of a relationship intrigues me and makes me nervous in the same breath...

I don't even know where or how to begin with that one...

I will flow into that at another date because it ties into the forcing things issue that I touched on earlier...