Little Markie, you've made the decision to move to Brooklyn! You feel you are ready for the “big”
time as you've said in your journals on more than one occasion. Oh yeah, by the
way, it is me well you but 20 years from now writing this. First, let me tell
you something it won’t be as easy as you envision it, you will run from it
initially and wind up back in Philly for a few months next year. Don’t get
dejected my man; it is all part of the process. You are gonna make a lot of
mistakes romantically, creatively, financially and otherwise. That is fine; the
problem is not the mistake themselves, but that you have a hard time letting
these mistakes go. You have a tendency to focus on what is wrong more so than
what is going well. Stop that! You will
hold on to some defeats way too long, and you will be afraid to open up your
heart again for a long time. I don’t believe in giving advice my man, but since
I am you and you are me I will give you some.
Creatively
take some more risks, and be more consistent with your effort. You will hear
quite a few times that you have talent etc., but you take too many baby steps. Leap
every now and then. You are overly cautious as to not make a mistake. That is
impossible! Stop seeking perfection. Start now, because as you mature it will
be become more challenging to grow out of those habits. It clearly is not
impossible to do, but the quicker you master moving on to the next project or
just trusting the process of completing your current projects the better off
you will be. You will also go through changes and many folks telling you what
your strengths are and aren't. Learn which ones to ignore and who to trust.
Also, stop limiting the scope of your artistic expression. I know you love
acting but man there is a lot more out there to explore. Eventually you will
branch out, but do so more fearlessly. Ignore the naysayers and people who base
their decisions on their fears and foreshadow that in their “advice” to you.
Ignore them all, or at least most of them.
Now the
romance part; she was dope, incredible, brilliant, warm, funny and totally into
you. You fucked it up, and because of this idea you have that karma is waiting
to enact some revenge on you for this mess up; you are not eager to get into
another relationship. You will spend a lot of time dodging them and “protecting”
your heart. Basically stop that too! Be open again. Trust that the Universe is
not that spiteful. She’s happy and you should be too. There isn't much more I
can add to this part. Well, cut down that damn impossible list you created
after she left. That was done to build the wall. It won’t work, and it won’t
make you happy in the long run.
Financially
you have to do the exact opposite of what you did creatively. Well sort of. Be
more cautious financially, but get rid of the fear of not having or losing what
you don’t have. Practice what you preach about abundance and trusting in the
invisible supply. You also need to diversify the means in which income comes
in. There are times where you will wait and hope for a big windfall. This is
where some more “baby” steps will come in handy, as well as a financial planner
may help. Basically don’t rely merely on the job, because it will lead to
financial heartache. Trust in the process, but put in the step to help the
process along.
Finally my
friend, the next 20 years of your life will have incredible ups and excruciating
downs. You will live for a summer in London and 8 years in L.A., direct a
couple of short films, and you will be as close to bankrupt as a person can
get. It will make you stronger but be careful of how you let these things
define you. Especially in the romance area, you will have the chance to turn it
around. Remember it is never too late. NEVER! It may feel like you are going
back to drawing board again, but in reality your view is simply higher up the
mountain side. So yeah, Happy Anniversary on your next 20 years, may the next
20 be as enlightening and richly filled as the last 20.
