Happy Anniversary to me! One year ago to the day I made my journey back to my beloved Brooklyn not knowing what exactly it held for me. I knew I needed a change, and Brooklyn had been calling my name for quite sometime. Overall the change has been fruitful and I am glad that I made the move back. It hasn’t been without its pitfalls for nothing in life is indeed perfect and if we live long enough there will be challenges that disturb our groove and alter our plans. I can honestly say that I am happier than I’ve been for sometime, and that is not at all a knock on LA. I truly dug my time there and built some relationships that will last for an eternity. I learned a lot about selfless giving and developed a stronger Spiritual foundation while I was there. As I was telling my brother Zaid when I wake up on Saturday mornings I feel lost knowing that I won’t being going to Peace4Kids. We move on though. Change is inevitable and this change has done me well. I’ve learned that with me not much is permanent and there may be (probably will be) a time where I need to pack up again and see what else is out there for me. Or not. I am learning to be flexible and open. As my Dad told me a few weeks back “don’t be one of those people that get set in your ways and only look for one way to do things.” I am taking (accepting) Life as it comes, and am better for it. I think that is about it. Yep. Word.
Friday, December 6, 2013
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Monday, October 21, 2013
Monday Morning Musings
Random thoughts on a Monday Morning about living in my own head. Be Blessed.
Peace,
MAB
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Monday, October 14, 2013
Me and my dudes
me and my dudes rarely talk about dreams
we talk about goals sometimes
in a tangible way, like do XYZ to achieve ABC
but me and my dudes rarely reminisce about the children we were
and the the dreams we had...
too vulnerable I guess...
or painful
or both...
(Dreams have been heavy on my mind)
Saturday, October 5, 2013
War With Words
Shower
(my mind)
I can't wait to write today
OMG the word will jump onto the page
It will be absolutely incredible
I will solve the worlds issues
This is profound
I can't wait.
I am gonna use the most eloquent words ever
Some thesaurus SAT type shit
Profundity at it's finest
Let me hurry up and wash my ass
World Changer I Am...
Desk
(my mind)
Shit
What was I talking about?
Oh ok...yeah
Profound...
(Typing)
(Mind)
That doesn't make sense
No one will get that
You're weird
You don't know any more better words
Why can't you write that other dude?
He famous now?
He be on the news talk show circuit
He got like 27,000 followers
How many you got?
He gets RTed daily
What you get?
Huh?
Might as well quit whil...
The battle continues...
(my mind)
I can't wait to write today
OMG the word will jump onto the page
It will be absolutely incredible
I will solve the worlds issues
This is profound
I can't wait.
I am gonna use the most eloquent words ever
Some thesaurus SAT type shit
Profundity at it's finest
Let me hurry up and wash my ass
World Changer I Am...
Desk
(my mind)
Shit
What was I talking about?
Oh ok...yeah
Profound...
(Typing)
(Mind)
That doesn't make sense
No one will get that
You're weird
You don't know any more better words
Why can't you write that other dude?
He famous now?
He be on the news talk show circuit
He got like 27,000 followers
How many you got?
He gets RTed daily
What you get?
Huh?
Might as well quit whil...
The battle continues...
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Closer To Heaven
There are somethings in life that we have to get for ourselves. No one can give them to us and no one can take them away once we've acquired them. I believe that once we get these things, if we ever get these things, our life will start to take shape for us. What once looked bleak and dismal will now seem more vibrant. Even if the thing or situation is in and of itself the same our understanding and perspective will change the way we feel about it. This discovery is innately personal, and other may or may not understand. Don't waste time explaining. We waste time justifying for others what we know to be true for ourselves. Trusting in YOUR truth will bring you Joy beyond your wildest imagination. Trust in you and trust in the discovery process.
Over the last few weeks I feel something awakening in me. Creatively I am growing and wanting to experiment with Life and Art. I am seeing things differently and feeling differently about what I am seeing. I am growing out of what I used to be (which has happened before) and recognizing again what I can be. Life is lived in stages (on stages for some) and I am truly excited about going into this next stage.
Over the last few weeks I feel something awakening in me. Creatively I am growing and wanting to experiment with Life and Art. I am seeing things differently and feeling differently about what I am seeing. I am growing out of what I used to be (which has happened before) and recognizing again what I can be. Life is lived in stages (on stages for some) and I am truly excited about going into this next stage.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Sunday Morning (written)
As I walked to the market this morning, I noticed how serene Brooklyn is on Sunday Mornings. Granted most area are indeed more low key on Sunday, but it seems that of all the places I've been the transition from Saturday to Sunday seems to be the greatest in Brooklyn. It is amazing actually. The pace slows and the folks seem more polite. Especially in Flatbush where there were no less than 10 church services between my apartment and the market...
The calmness was intense!
So many thoughts have been running through my head lately. I feel artistically I am being challenged, and it frightening to be quite honest. Some new forms of creativity are striving to get out, and the safe Mark has been resisting this rigorously. As I walked through the calmness of Brooklyn noticing the stark difference of one day to the next it occurred to me that creativity (my creativity) doesn't have to limited. Duh right? Sometimes I get so locked in on one way, and forget to step back and breathe. Sunday walks help me to remember that.
Thank you Brooklyn...Be easy...
Fresh Wounds
The fresh wounds are the easiest to heal
They came after I learned forgiveness is the perfect ointment
The older wounds, they are the ones...Deep Down
The ones that festered when you were too young to let go
The ones that developed over time and stuck in your psyche
Wounds that needed care when no specialist was available
Scars that went so deep they plugged themselves.
Stung so hard they woke you at night...
Those are the ones that need attention sometimes
A spiritual biopsy...
A tourniquet of love...
The bleeding is internal and in need of INTENTIONS
Intention on healing and letting it go...
Beyond remission
Admission
They came after I learned forgiveness is the perfect ointment
The older wounds, they are the ones...Deep Down
The ones that festered when you were too young to let go
The ones that developed over time and stuck in your psyche
Wounds that needed care when no specialist was available
Scars that went so deep they plugged themselves.
Stung so hard they woke you at night...
Those are the ones that need attention sometimes
A spiritual biopsy...
A tourniquet of love...
The bleeding is internal and in need of INTENTIONS
Intention on healing and letting it go...
Beyond remission
Admission
Sunday Mornings
So I shot this on Monday actually, but for some reason it would not upload from My MAC or PC...anyway...
Friday, September 27, 2013
Where Has It Gone?
Another note from 4 years ago on FB. I think Tavis and Dr. West's dialogue has hardened since then, but by and large the question still remains...
Where has the constructive political dialogue gone? It seems to have been reduced to name calling and schoolyard antics if we disagree on an issue. At a time when things appear to be dire for many people in the states and abroad the collective willingness to dialogue intelligently has all but disappeared. As I watched Brother Cornel West on Tavis Smiley last night explaining what is position was and is as a Black Intellectual I was both inspired and humbled by his compassion for humanity. It also has me wondering if this type of thoughtful compassionate dialogue is a thing of the past? Has the need for ratings corrupted the willingness to share ideas to get to a common ground? Aren’t we as individuals allowed to (supposed to) have differing views on ideas and not have to be labeled “hater”? I have seen that word used more today simply for folks asking questions. Watched people threaten to kick people off of their friends list and the whole 9 simply for not agreeing. As someone who has watched and listened this morning I think there is validity in both sides of the discussion, as there are with most discussions. The issue for me arises when it turns from a respectful discourse into some WWE ranting about nothing in particular. We are in critical times right now. So much beauty happening, while simultaneously being undermined by other forces who do not share the view of a global community. We will not always agree on issues, but it is what happens after that that is most important. Do we reach a commonality or continue the polarizing behavior that has kept us stagnant and without the necessary improvements to our collective quality of Life? Will we bring more compassion to our activism or continue down the self destructive road of limited thoughts and ideas? I say let’s broaden our dialogue beyond the scare tactics and defensive generalizations.
Where has the constructive political dialogue gone? It seems to have been reduced to name calling and schoolyard antics if we disagree on an issue. At a time when things appear to be dire for many people in the states and abroad the collective willingness to dialogue intelligently has all but disappeared. As I watched Brother Cornel West on Tavis Smiley last night explaining what is position was and is as a Black Intellectual I was both inspired and humbled by his compassion for humanity. It also has me wondering if this type of thoughtful compassionate dialogue is a thing of the past? Has the need for ratings corrupted the willingness to share ideas to get to a common ground? Aren’t we as individuals allowed to (supposed to) have differing views on ideas and not have to be labeled “hater”? I have seen that word used more today simply for folks asking questions. Watched people threaten to kick people off of their friends list and the whole 9 simply for not agreeing. As someone who has watched and listened this morning I think there is validity in both sides of the discussion, as there are with most discussions. The issue for me arises when it turns from a respectful discourse into some WWE ranting about nothing in particular. We are in critical times right now. So much beauty happening, while simultaneously being undermined by other forces who do not share the view of a global community. We will not always agree on issues, but it is what happens after that that is most important. Do we reach a commonality or continue the polarizing behavior that has kept us stagnant and without the necessary improvements to our collective quality of Life? Will we bring more compassion to our activism or continue down the self destructive road of limited thoughts and ideas? I say let’s broaden our dialogue beyond the scare tactics and defensive generalizations.
Why I smile (All The Time)
I wrote this 4 years ago as a note on FB...it still applies...
Since I can remember I have always been asked the question, “Why do you smile so much?” or would hear… “You smile all the time.” I would usually just shrug it off with no response or some vague statement like “because I can.” The other day when again posed with the question after giving my usual response… I thought to myself “Why do I smile ‘all the time’?” Really it is more than just because I can, but deep down I always knew and know that no matter what the situation or circumstance I would be fine(better than fine actually). I know innately that better days are ahead, and I look forward to those days. Even when confronted with a taxing situation where heavy “lifting” is needed(needs) to be done, doing it with a smile allows the time to go by quicker and yes the work still gets done. I smile because really it is what I do best, and I love to do it. I’ve done it for so long that I don’t know how not to. I smile because on more than one occasion someone has told me how much it has helped them. I smile because most days I have the most insanely comical thoughts running through my mind. I smile because the melodies are beautiful. I smile because it beats the alternative. I smile because it goes a long way. I smile because I am ME!
Since I can remember I have always been asked the question, “Why do you smile so much?” or would hear… “You smile all the time.” I would usually just shrug it off with no response or some vague statement like “because I can.” The other day when again posed with the question after giving my usual response… I thought to myself “Why do I smile ‘all the time’?” Really it is more than just because I can, but deep down I always knew and know that no matter what the situation or circumstance I would be fine(better than fine actually). I know innately that better days are ahead, and I look forward to those days. Even when confronted with a taxing situation where heavy “lifting” is needed(needs) to be done, doing it with a smile allows the time to go by quicker and yes the work still gets done. I smile because really it is what I do best, and I love to do it. I’ve done it for so long that I don’t know how not to. I smile because on more than one occasion someone has told me how much it has helped them. I smile because most days I have the most insanely comical thoughts running through my mind. I smile because the melodies are beautiful. I smile because it beats the alternative. I smile because it goes a long way. I smile because I am ME!
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Lonesome Dove (A journal...entry?)
Admit it! The Silence Frightens you...The idea of being alone with your thoughts for one single...
Move on! Nothing to see here...only the vast emptiness of the very next moment...
Until it gets filled with useless chatter... I feel comfortable again
I feel comfortable searching for that something to feel(not a typo) a void I should be filling mySelf...
I need movement! I need excitement! I need something other than what I have...
Or So I think...
I never really asked mySelf...I told mySelf...and assumed it true...
I hate assumptions...false intelligence...
Stillness heals...I am used to the hurt...I feel comfortable again
Move on! Nothing to see here...only the vast emptiness of the very next moment...
Until it gets filled with useless chatter... I feel comfortable again
I feel comfortable searching for that something to feel(not a typo) a void I should be filling mySelf...
I need movement! I need excitement! I need something other than what I have...
Or So I think...
I never really asked mySelf...I told mySelf...and assumed it true...
I hate assumptions...false intelligence...
Stillness heals...I am used to the hurt...I feel comfortable again
Thursday, September 19, 2013
To Those of YOU that wear your heart on your sleeve...
Keep Loving...
Keep Trusting...
Keep Dreaming...
Keep Believing...
Keep Seeing...
Keep Producing...
Keep Creating...
And Most Importantly...
Keep Being...
Love,
MAB
Keep Trusting...
Keep Dreaming...
Keep Believing...
Keep Seeing...
Keep Producing...
Keep Creating...
And Most Importantly...
Keep Being...
Love,
MAB
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Monday, September 9, 2013
Sunday, September 8, 2013
21 Day Challenge- Day 21 (No Video)
Lemons (Literal and figurative)
Laughter
My Mother, Grandmother, Aunt Eunice and Lil (They have all transitioned from this life, but their legacy lives through me)
Laughter
My Mother, Grandmother, Aunt Eunice and Lil (They have all transitioned from this life, but their legacy lives through me)
Saturday, September 7, 2013
21 Day Challenge-Day 20 (No video)
My older sister Jovida
My Best friends Khai and Matt
My nieces and nephews
My Best friends Khai and Matt
My nieces and nephews
Friday, September 6, 2013
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Monday, September 2, 2013
21 Day Challenge- Day 15 (No video)
Herbal Remedies (slightly under the weather)
Tissues (see above)
Shoes-comfortable ones (I did so much walking this weekend, and my feet feel fine)
Hope everyone had a great weekend. See you tomorrow.
Peace,
MAB
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Saturday, August 31, 2013
21 Day Challenge-Day 13
No video today (it may come later though)
Prayer (keeps me balanced)
Fans (the kind that keep us cool)
My laptop (life saver some days)
Peace,
MAB
Prayer (keeps me balanced)
Fans (the kind that keep us cool)
My laptop (life saver some days)
Peace,
MAB
Friday, August 30, 2013
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Monday, August 26, 2013
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Friday, August 23, 2013
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Monday, August 19, 2013
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Are You Happy?
Are you happy? That is a question I've been asked a lot lately by folks when discussing my transition back to NYC. For the first time in years my answer is unequivocally YES! In all seriousness though, my last few years in LA were mired in stresses. I put on a good facade and made it through (at least I think so), but I was not at my best. Whatever I seemed to do was not working for me and on top of that I missed family. I don't want to blame LA because the first 5 or 6 years there were amazing and I thought I would never leave. I don't know if I changed, it changed or I just missed home (I do consider Brooklyn home now, don't be mad Philly). This is like a second honeymoon with my first love, we will see if it is forever or if I just have on rose colored glasses. Either way I am enjoying this moment and that is what matters most.
I used to look at that question as a loaded one. I would use all kinds of disclaimers and qualifiers. Rarely just answering the question with a flat out yes I am. I feel right now I am very much happy with no qualifiers needed. Things are by no means perfect, but I do not feel the need or urge to dwell on them. Things shift and change so quickly here. Funny things is right now I am in a kind of blah mood as I write this and get ready for work, but I am still happy. It is damn weird. When I get "down" here a walk in the park lifts me up tremendously, going to a gallery or whatever that case may be. My blahs don't seem to last as long now as they did in the past. So yeah, I don't have much else to say. Anything else would feel forced from me and be a qualifier.
Peace,
MAB
I used to look at that question as a loaded one. I would use all kinds of disclaimers and qualifiers. Rarely just answering the question with a flat out yes I am. I feel right now I am very much happy with no qualifiers needed. Things are by no means perfect, but I do not feel the need or urge to dwell on them. Things shift and change so quickly here. Funny things is right now I am in a kind of blah mood as I write this and get ready for work, but I am still happy. It is damn weird. When I get "down" here a walk in the park lifts me up tremendously, going to a gallery or whatever that case may be. My blahs don't seem to last as long now as they did in the past. So yeah, I don't have much else to say. Anything else would feel forced from me and be a qualifier.
Peace,
MAB
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Fork In The Road
So there has been a lot going on in the last week or so that has social networks in a tizzy. From Paula Deen to the SCOTUS folks are in full reactionary mode. I sort of get it but not really. It completely frustrates me that we continuously give our power away. We continuously put our trust in a system that does not return the favor at all. The two party system has been flawed and ineffective for decades now, but yet we come back expecting a change to something that has shown no signs of changing. So then we get a decision like today and we wonder why it happened. We threaten to renew or get new passports and leave this evil place, but then that complacency kicks back in. We go back to our preoccupied lives and wait for the next thing to come along to rile us then pause and repeat the whole process. That was a sweeping generalization of which I usually attempt to stay away from, but sometimes what we see is what we get.
As long as we continue to be reactive as opposed to proactive about how we participate in the political process we (black people, people of color and poor people) will continue to be left behind, and/or dependent upon others to do something for us. We keep looking at the causes but never the root of the problems. Hence we keep coming back to the same place. A few years back people were angry when Troy Davis was executed in Georgia, but how many of us know our candidates position on capital punishment? How many challenged them to change their position on the subject? Personally speaking I will not vote for anyone who supports capital punishment, and this was before the Troy Davis execution. I believe in being an educated voter not just a partisan one. The political, racial and social divide in the country is getting deeper by that day and social networking and mainstream media is helping to usher it along.
I feel that we are in a time of excess opinion, so in a lot of way this blog is a contradiction. That being said I do believe we need more compassionate voices to speak out and stand up. People who have no allegiances to any party or person. People who are willing to look beyond posters and bumper stickers and seek out truth. That doesn't mean I don't believe that people cannot support the two parties. I just believe that we should be willing to challenge those we support as hard as we do those that we oppose, and right now that is not happening. Fundamentalism is running rampant and some folks are clueless as to what they are fundamentaling about. We are being led blindly, and reacting to what we are being told to react to.
I do not have all of the answers, but I have a ton of questions and a lot of passion. I do not believe a system (this system) can truly set us back unless we allow it. When the people put their minds and hearts into genuine change amazing things happen. We can't wait on legislation we have to force their hand. It cannot be a short sighted mission either, two months and then oops back to life as normal. Sustained change takes time and effort. Even on an individual level if we want change we have to stick to it to get results. A new political and social movement won't be had in one cycle or two or three. It may take more than our lifetime but I for one want my descendants to have something better than we do now.
Peace,
MAB
As long as we continue to be reactive as opposed to proactive about how we participate in the political process we (black people, people of color and poor people) will continue to be left behind, and/or dependent upon others to do something for us. We keep looking at the causes but never the root of the problems. Hence we keep coming back to the same place. A few years back people were angry when Troy Davis was executed in Georgia, but how many of us know our candidates position on capital punishment? How many challenged them to change their position on the subject? Personally speaking I will not vote for anyone who supports capital punishment, and this was before the Troy Davis execution. I believe in being an educated voter not just a partisan one. The political, racial and social divide in the country is getting deeper by that day and social networking and mainstream media is helping to usher it along.
I feel that we are in a time of excess opinion, so in a lot of way this blog is a contradiction. That being said I do believe we need more compassionate voices to speak out and stand up. People who have no allegiances to any party or person. People who are willing to look beyond posters and bumper stickers and seek out truth. That doesn't mean I don't believe that people cannot support the two parties. I just believe that we should be willing to challenge those we support as hard as we do those that we oppose, and right now that is not happening. Fundamentalism is running rampant and some folks are clueless as to what they are fundamentaling about. We are being led blindly, and reacting to what we are being told to react to.
I do not have all of the answers, but I have a ton of questions and a lot of passion. I do not believe a system (this system) can truly set us back unless we allow it. When the people put their minds and hearts into genuine change amazing things happen. We can't wait on legislation we have to force their hand. It cannot be a short sighted mission either, two months and then oops back to life as normal. Sustained change takes time and effort. Even on an individual level if we want change we have to stick to it to get results. A new political and social movement won't be had in one cycle or two or three. It may take more than our lifetime but I for one want my descendants to have something better than we do now.
Peace,
MAB
10 Lessons on Filmmaking from Director Alejandro Jodorowsky
Via www.filmmakermagazine.com
by Ariston Anderson
in Directors, Filmmaking, Interviews
on Jun 17, 2013
Alejandro Jodorowsky, Jodorowsky's Dune, The Dance of Reality
Alejandro Jodorowsky premiered his first directorial feature in 23 years at Cannes this year with the fictionalized autobiographical film The Dance of Reality. The man behind cult favorites El Topo and The Holy Mountain delighted audiences with his magic-realist account of growing up in Tocopilla, Chile. It was met with a standing ovation, and the director called the film’s reception in France one of the proudest moments of his life.
The Dance of Reality is marked by fantastic, surreal characters, from an opera-singing mother to an overzealous anarchist to a painted religious guru. It is easy to see how Jodorowsky’s blooming imagination took shape with such a beginning. His own son Brontis Jodorowsky plays his father in the film, an abusive man who dresses as Stalin, forces willpower and manliness upon the young golden-locked Alejandro, and dreams of becoming a communist hero. The film was a healing exercise for Jodorowsky, something he described as a spiritual work in addressing his abusive upbringing. The whole effort behind the film was a family affair, with his sons Adan and Axel also acting in the film, and his wife Pascale Montandon-Jodorowsky creating the costumes.
Jodorowsky fans were treated to a double bill at Cannes this year alongside Frank Pavich’s documentary Jodorowsky’s Dune, a film about “the greatest movie never made.” The feature recounts Jodorowsky’s epic adventure into adapting Frank Herbert’s sci-fi classic onto screen, all while recruiting a dreamlike cast of collaborators including Orson Welles, Salvador Dali and Pink Floyd.
The script became the size of a phonebook and the budget was blown, ultimately lending to Dino De Laurentiis picking up the book rights to have David Lynch helm. Jodorowsky had to sit back and watch while his ideas influenced sci-fi films to come over the next decade, largely leaving him behind. The majority of the documentary’s screen time is thankfully given to Jodorowsky himself and his hilarious memories. We could easily listen to him reminiscence for hours about this not-so-insignificant time in cinematic history.
Filmmaker sat down with Jodorowsky during Cannes at the Hotel Martinez to learn a few things from the master.
1. Filmmaking can be therapeutic.
I work with my family because it is a therapy. I invented a therapy called psychomagic and I apply that to my films. Shooting a film should be like opening up the limits to your mind.
First, it is good to work with your family because you collaborate with them and they with you. There are many Jodorowksys in the film. My son plays my father, ultimately acting as his grandfather. This is the seventh work I’ve made with my son.
I make pictures and theater with him. We’ve worked together since he was little in El Topo. Now he’s 50. With his acting, he’s changing the character of my father who was so cruel. Now, through my son, he becomes humorous. He becomes human. This therapy brings about a big change.
This film is like a psychological bond for the whole family. And I really cried a lot, if you know what I mean when I say that. And I hope this psychological work will help you too, because going to the cinema is not only for pleasure or leisure. It is also an experiment.
2. Filmmaking is a spiritual experience. Keep going to get to that spiritual place.
We have limits. Our family, our society, our culture gives us limits. And then the spiritual work is to open up the limits more and more, to understand more and more, to feel more and more, to desire more and more, to do more and more.
Nowadays cinema is an industry and one has to really wonder what is left for the director. The director is really the heart of filmmaking. He is the poet, the artist, creating his work. When I was shooting this work, I must say that it is something beyond me. I did not create it. I received it, because I think that is what happens. What is received is actually sacred, and that is why I made this film and that is also why the actors go much further than any other actors would, because they try to discover themselves as well.
3. Filmmaking is sacred, in fact.
Filmmaking is not a religion. It can be a mystical activity, a sacred activity.
How it’s sacred for me? Well, for me, sacred means to live “you” completely, to be what you are. If you are what you are, it’s sacred.
4. Be present, all the time.
There is no difference between preparation and being on set. When I am filming, I am completely there. In every moment you are making a picture, every day, every hour, I am a hundred percent there.
5. Talent can’t be forced. It can be nurtured.
I want inner talent. Talent is something natural you have or you don’t have. Myself, I am a monster of my imagination. I cannot invite the imagination into my work. When I was in university I had two paths in front of me: intelligence and imagination. I chose imagination. I didn’t want to be an intellectual. I am very intelligent, you know? But I had to tame it because I wanted to develop my imagination. I work hard in order to open up my imagination.
The Dance of Reality
6. Identify your skillset early on.
In another time in my life I wanted to make mime performances in Chile. I went to work with Marcel Marceau, and I wanted to be better than him. I compared myself with him and realized I could not be superior to Marceau because Marceau was a real genius in the mime. It was impossible; he was born like that.
And then I thought, “What am I doing with him? I will not finish like an old man painted white. And if I cannot be better than him in mime, I will be better than him in intelligence.” Because he was making pantomime, still like Charlie Chaplin. And I decided that I would give him my ideas, metaphysical pantomime, and that’s how I would collaborate with him.
And then I became the writer of Marceau. I made The Mask Maker. I made The Cage. I made a lot of things with him. For five years I worked as his writer of pantomime. And what I learned with Marceau, I used in Santa Sangre.
7. Stand up when you fall down.
From the experience of Dune, I learned how to fail. I say failure doesn’t exist; you need to change your way. That is all, and I changed my way. Whatever I could not do in Dune, I would make in other things. I learned how to start a new life. If you fall and you stay on the floor, it’s bad. But if you fall and then you stand, it’s good. You learn.
8. Work with like-minded people.
I made all my pictures with thieves, gangsters, and crazy people. This is the first time I made a picture with normal people who love movies. It’s the first time I’ve done this, because I cannot work with businessmen. They pervert me. They only think to want money, to sell objects. I don’t want to think like the capitalist who is selling clocks, or coffee, or whiskey. No, I don’t want to do that.
I make pictures in order to lose money. I say to the producer when he’s making my picture, “I want to lose money,” because I don’t want to make a picture out of a desire to want money. But if we do earn money, we will take it to make another picture.
9. It’s not about process. It’s about ideas.
An artist, a real artist, does not have a creative process. It should be like a dream. What is this, a process to make dreams? I don’t make dreams; I have dreams. I don’t make ideas; I have ideas. I receive in my mind the ideas. I come and I do what I feel. But I don’t prepare a process. That’s science. I am not a scientist.
10. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a routine.
My writing routine is everyday I put a record on, the same one since 20 years. Then I burn a stick of incense, I put perfume here on the insides of my soles, I paint my left testicle red, and I write.
Alejandro Jodorowsky photo by Ariston Anderson
by Ariston Anderson
in Directors, Filmmaking, Interviews
on Jun 17, 2013
Alejandro Jodorowsky, Jodorowsky's Dune, The Dance of Reality
Alejandro Jodorowsky premiered his first directorial feature in 23 years at Cannes this year with the fictionalized autobiographical film The Dance of Reality. The man behind cult favorites El Topo and The Holy Mountain delighted audiences with his magic-realist account of growing up in Tocopilla, Chile. It was met with a standing ovation, and the director called the film’s reception in France one of the proudest moments of his life.
The Dance of Reality is marked by fantastic, surreal characters, from an opera-singing mother to an overzealous anarchist to a painted religious guru. It is easy to see how Jodorowsky’s blooming imagination took shape with such a beginning. His own son Brontis Jodorowsky plays his father in the film, an abusive man who dresses as Stalin, forces willpower and manliness upon the young golden-locked Alejandro, and dreams of becoming a communist hero. The film was a healing exercise for Jodorowsky, something he described as a spiritual work in addressing his abusive upbringing. The whole effort behind the film was a family affair, with his sons Adan and Axel also acting in the film, and his wife Pascale Montandon-Jodorowsky creating the costumes.
Jodorowsky fans were treated to a double bill at Cannes this year alongside Frank Pavich’s documentary Jodorowsky’s Dune, a film about “the greatest movie never made.” The feature recounts Jodorowsky’s epic adventure into adapting Frank Herbert’s sci-fi classic onto screen, all while recruiting a dreamlike cast of collaborators including Orson Welles, Salvador Dali and Pink Floyd.
The script became the size of a phonebook and the budget was blown, ultimately lending to Dino De Laurentiis picking up the book rights to have David Lynch helm. Jodorowsky had to sit back and watch while his ideas influenced sci-fi films to come over the next decade, largely leaving him behind. The majority of the documentary’s screen time is thankfully given to Jodorowsky himself and his hilarious memories. We could easily listen to him reminiscence for hours about this not-so-insignificant time in cinematic history.
Filmmaker sat down with Jodorowsky during Cannes at the Hotel Martinez to learn a few things from the master.
1. Filmmaking can be therapeutic.
I work with my family because it is a therapy. I invented a therapy called psychomagic and I apply that to my films. Shooting a film should be like opening up the limits to your mind.
First, it is good to work with your family because you collaborate with them and they with you. There are many Jodorowksys in the film. My son plays my father, ultimately acting as his grandfather. This is the seventh work I’ve made with my son.
I make pictures and theater with him. We’ve worked together since he was little in El Topo. Now he’s 50. With his acting, he’s changing the character of my father who was so cruel. Now, through my son, he becomes humorous. He becomes human. This therapy brings about a big change.
This film is like a psychological bond for the whole family. And I really cried a lot, if you know what I mean when I say that. And I hope this psychological work will help you too, because going to the cinema is not only for pleasure or leisure. It is also an experiment.
2. Filmmaking is a spiritual experience. Keep going to get to that spiritual place.
We have limits. Our family, our society, our culture gives us limits. And then the spiritual work is to open up the limits more and more, to understand more and more, to feel more and more, to desire more and more, to do more and more.
Nowadays cinema is an industry and one has to really wonder what is left for the director. The director is really the heart of filmmaking. He is the poet, the artist, creating his work. When I was shooting this work, I must say that it is something beyond me. I did not create it. I received it, because I think that is what happens. What is received is actually sacred, and that is why I made this film and that is also why the actors go much further than any other actors would, because they try to discover themselves as well.
3. Filmmaking is sacred, in fact.
Filmmaking is not a religion. It can be a mystical activity, a sacred activity.
How it’s sacred for me? Well, for me, sacred means to live “you” completely, to be what you are. If you are what you are, it’s sacred.
4. Be present, all the time.
There is no difference between preparation and being on set. When I am filming, I am completely there. In every moment you are making a picture, every day, every hour, I am a hundred percent there.
5. Talent can’t be forced. It can be nurtured.
I want inner talent. Talent is something natural you have or you don’t have. Myself, I am a monster of my imagination. I cannot invite the imagination into my work. When I was in university I had two paths in front of me: intelligence and imagination. I chose imagination. I didn’t want to be an intellectual. I am very intelligent, you know? But I had to tame it because I wanted to develop my imagination. I work hard in order to open up my imagination.
The Dance of Reality
6. Identify your skillset early on.
In another time in my life I wanted to make mime performances in Chile. I went to work with Marcel Marceau, and I wanted to be better than him. I compared myself with him and realized I could not be superior to Marceau because Marceau was a real genius in the mime. It was impossible; he was born like that.
And then I thought, “What am I doing with him? I will not finish like an old man painted white. And if I cannot be better than him in mime, I will be better than him in intelligence.” Because he was making pantomime, still like Charlie Chaplin. And I decided that I would give him my ideas, metaphysical pantomime, and that’s how I would collaborate with him.
And then I became the writer of Marceau. I made The Mask Maker. I made The Cage. I made a lot of things with him. For five years I worked as his writer of pantomime. And what I learned with Marceau, I used in Santa Sangre.
7. Stand up when you fall down.
From the experience of Dune, I learned how to fail. I say failure doesn’t exist; you need to change your way. That is all, and I changed my way. Whatever I could not do in Dune, I would make in other things. I learned how to start a new life. If you fall and you stay on the floor, it’s bad. But if you fall and then you stand, it’s good. You learn.
8. Work with like-minded people.
I made all my pictures with thieves, gangsters, and crazy people. This is the first time I made a picture with normal people who love movies. It’s the first time I’ve done this, because I cannot work with businessmen. They pervert me. They only think to want money, to sell objects. I don’t want to think like the capitalist who is selling clocks, or coffee, or whiskey. No, I don’t want to do that.
I make pictures in order to lose money. I say to the producer when he’s making my picture, “I want to lose money,” because I don’t want to make a picture out of a desire to want money. But if we do earn money, we will take it to make another picture.
9. It’s not about process. It’s about ideas.
An artist, a real artist, does not have a creative process. It should be like a dream. What is this, a process to make dreams? I don’t make dreams; I have dreams. I don’t make ideas; I have ideas. I receive in my mind the ideas. I come and I do what I feel. But I don’t prepare a process. That’s science. I am not a scientist.
10. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a routine.
My writing routine is everyday I put a record on, the same one since 20 years. Then I burn a stick of incense, I put perfume here on the insides of my soles, I paint my left testicle red, and I write.
Alejandro Jodorowsky photo by Ariston Anderson
Monday, June 17, 2013
Mortal Lives
One day we will wake up and be gone. Life as we know it will have ended. Loves ones will cry and other may not. There will be a void left where your presence once stood. Life is that valuable, that precious and honestly that fragile for some. Things can happen in a split second. Your food can go down the wrong way, or you can cross the street at the wrong time. Any number of things can happen in a moments notice. I try not dwell on it too much, but since my Moms was 36 when she passed sometimes it just hits me. Or when I am thinking about someone I adore and that one of us will out last the other. I don't know it is kind of weird to me really. I mean I have my beliefs about the after life, but for real I don't really know what happens after that last breath.
So yeah, remember nothing is a given. Say frickin' thank you when someone does something nice for you. Smile back when someone smiles at you (provided it ain't creepy). Do something random like run through the rain (I was gonna say in your undies, but that would be creepy). Feed someone's meter or leave the change in a soda machine for the next person. I guess my point is...DON'T TAKE SHIT OR YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY! I mean I have causes and beliefs that I am passionate about, and I put in mad effort but life goes on with or without me. I take my personal health serious but not too serious where it infringes on others ability to be around me. That's what I mean when we take ourselves so seriously that others can't have an idea or thought that contradicts our narrow view of the world...
Anywho! It is almost my bedtime and as I thought about my prayers and family it hit me to write what was on my heart at this moment.
Peace & Love,
MAB
So yeah, remember nothing is a given. Say frickin' thank you when someone does something nice for you. Smile back when someone smiles at you (provided it ain't creepy). Do something random like run through the rain (I was gonna say in your undies, but that would be creepy). Feed someone's meter or leave the change in a soda machine for the next person. I guess my point is...DON'T TAKE SHIT OR YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY! I mean I have causes and beliefs that I am passionate about, and I put in mad effort but life goes on with or without me. I take my personal health serious but not too serious where it infringes on others ability to be around me. That's what I mean when we take ourselves so seriously that others can't have an idea or thought that contradicts our narrow view of the world...
Anywho! It is almost my bedtime and as I thought about my prayers and family it hit me to write what was on my heart at this moment.
Peace & Love,
MAB
Friday, June 14, 2013
Intrusions On The Soul
People that occupy spaces in our life has been on my mind a lot lately. Mainly because I have been spending more time with mySelf lately, and gaining more insight into my own inner workings. Anyway, as I've been thinking about how people enter into our lives and how they occupy the spaces once they get in. Some people just off of just their own energy take up a lot of space and make their presence known and felt every step of the way. While other exist in your space but are rarely felt, and they are just as memorable and just as impactful in in our lives. There are those within each group who are energy zappers in that they take from your space and when they are gone, or even still around, you feel especially drained from the encounter. Sometimes we are the zapper and are not aware of it because of what is happening in our own lives at the times. Relationships, careers, finances or other issues can cause us to seek out help from those who we believe get us and so get into that space and just let it all go until we feel that sense of relief we were searching for. Because it is a loved one of some sort we may not be cognizant of the impact our dumping may be. Actually they may not either, and honestly may not care. That is not to say that we should not have folks in our lives that we depend upon when things look bleak, but it would be nice to make sure we aren't burdening them just to feel better while leaving them weighed down and tired from the experience.
So yes, intrusion on our souls. As I stated before people come into our lives on some bigger than life type energy. Everything they do is memorable from the clothes to the speech and everything in between. It can be fun at times to hang and be around folks like this because they just liven things up inadvertently at times but inevitably it almost always happens. Conversely it is almost always impossible to just have a low-key conversation with them, have simple dinner plans or just chill. They don't know how to do it, or do it well should I say. On the flip side are the folks who come into our lives and take up very little energy. Sometimes you barely know they exist, and they don't require very much "maintenance" if you will. They just go with the flow and whatever happens happens. Most times this is cool, until you need that assertion or boldness to pick you up or motivate you. It just isn't them. They are not the pep talk kind of person.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Enjoy Ourselves To Death
These are some thoughts of mine about our society and our need for excess...
Monday, June 3, 2013
Friday, May 31, 2013
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Sorrow
Today a deep sorrow hit me.
One that I hadn't felt in sometime. It has been 27 plus years since I've been able to hug my mother...
I will never be able to do it again...
It hurts...
I hurt...
There are no words that can make it better...there is only one mother's hug...one mother's love
I'm grateful for the surrogates in my Life...
My aunts were/are amazing to me...
Still...
Some days it just hurts...
Mother's Day
Birthday
Some years are easier that others...
Some days I'm a wreck...
Time heals...
Still...
Some days it just hurts...
One that I hadn't felt in sometime. It has been 27 plus years since I've been able to hug my mother...
I will never be able to do it again...
It hurts...
I hurt...
There are no words that can make it better...there is only one mother's hug...one mother's love
I'm grateful for the surrogates in my Life...
My aunts were/are amazing to me...
Still...
Some days it just hurts...
Mother's Day
Birthday
Some years are easier that others...
Some days I'm a wreck...
Time heals...
Still...
Some days it just hurts...
Happy Mother's Day
It is no secret that I was a Momma's Boy...In hindsight...I am cool with that...I love and miss You Yvonne Benson...
My Mom...
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Experiential Teaching
My thoughts on teaching folks to use their own experiences as a learning tool.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Games People Play
Yesterday I had a conversation via Twitter with my cousin regarding an article I read on Philly.com about a Philadelphia based Reverend who was dis-invited from speaking at Morehouse commencement ceremony for an article he had written in a news paper being critical of President Obama. The article (I will attach a copy) questioned the amount of Black people in his cabinet as well as his lack of addressing Black issues during his Presidency. Of course the article drew a wide range of reactions from various people. A lot of people defended the President and some sided with the Minister. I was curious as to how my cousin felt about this, since he lives in Philly and has a closer pulse of what is going on the city than I do. I visit Philly but haven't really lived there in years. Anyway, he didn't disagree with the main points in the article he just disagreed with the timing of the article. He felt that the minister had his own agenda and wasn't playing the political game correctly. I don't like to really go deep on Twitter because a conversation can fill up a whole TL is you're not careful, but we went back and forth not really disagreeing in substance but really on the timing issue in the article.
For the record I don't agree with the Morehouse decision, even though they claim that the article was not the reason for the change. I felt their timing was off and it does not encourage critical thinking in a society that becoming more and more devoid of critical free-thinkers. Basically it is censorship of those we disagree with. Now to be open about it, it is often pointed out that I am not a "supporter" of the President which is true, but I don't support too many politicians on either side of the "aisle". I have been a staunch proponent of a 3 (4 or 5) party system for roughly 20 years now. We need more options... Better choices... Too many people in this current system go under on unserved and many of them are Black and/or poor. This system has not addressed poverty, failing education or unemployment in a substantive way. Yet Black people support the Democratic portion of this system anywhere from 85 to 95% per any given election, but the return on investment doesn't match the effort put out to get them elected. Honestly it is more aggravating at this point because it is clear that things won't change as long as we keep doing the status quo, and keep using the lame argument that they are better than Republicans for "us". Being better than something that is bad doesn't make it good for anyone. We are stagnant, complacent and comfortable in a situation where should not be any of those. We can do better.
The argument that also annoys me is when I hear folks talking about the political game that needs to be played. Well it is not a game when children go to bed hungry, when the people cannot get proper medical attention because even under the new medical reforms they can't afford it. It is not a game in Chicago (or other major cities) where the crime rate is sky rocketing on weekly basis, and the high school dropout rate is soaring as well. It is not a game for those who have to give up their homes and cars because they can't find a job. Life is not a game for most people, or at least not a game they feel they can win. We can do better. We have to ask more questions about why the resources don't trickle down in a political system that is supposed to spread the wealth. The dream is too often deferred for many. If this was a game the clock is running out on way too many of us. It is time to move beyond symbolism, we need tangible improvement not simply change. We need better! We need to do it now!
http://www.phillytrib.com/newsarticles/item/8637-a-president-for-everyone,-except-black-people.html
http://www.philly.com/philly/education/20130427_Group__College_disinvites_Phila__pastor_who_criticzed_Obama.html
For the record I don't agree with the Morehouse decision, even though they claim that the article was not the reason for the change. I felt their timing was off and it does not encourage critical thinking in a society that becoming more and more devoid of critical free-thinkers. Basically it is censorship of those we disagree with. Now to be open about it, it is often pointed out that I am not a "supporter" of the President which is true, but I don't support too many politicians on either side of the "aisle". I have been a staunch proponent of a 3 (4 or 5) party system for roughly 20 years now. We need more options... Better choices... Too many people in this current system go under on unserved and many of them are Black and/or poor. This system has not addressed poverty, failing education or unemployment in a substantive way. Yet Black people support the Democratic portion of this system anywhere from 85 to 95% per any given election, but the return on investment doesn't match the effort put out to get them elected. Honestly it is more aggravating at this point because it is clear that things won't change as long as we keep doing the status quo, and keep using the lame argument that they are better than Republicans for "us". Being better than something that is bad doesn't make it good for anyone. We are stagnant, complacent and comfortable in a situation where should not be any of those. We can do better.
The argument that also annoys me is when I hear folks talking about the political game that needs to be played. Well it is not a game when children go to bed hungry, when the people cannot get proper medical attention because even under the new medical reforms they can't afford it. It is not a game in Chicago (or other major cities) where the crime rate is sky rocketing on weekly basis, and the high school dropout rate is soaring as well. It is not a game for those who have to give up their homes and cars because they can't find a job. Life is not a game for most people, or at least not a game they feel they can win. We can do better. We have to ask more questions about why the resources don't trickle down in a political system that is supposed to spread the wealth. The dream is too often deferred for many. If this was a game the clock is running out on way too many of us. It is time to move beyond symbolism, we need tangible improvement not simply change. We need better! We need to do it now!
http://www.phillytrib.com/newsarticles/item/8637-a-president-for-everyone,-except-black-people.html
http://www.philly.com/philly/education/20130427_Group__College_disinvites_Phila__pastor_who_criticzed_Obama.html
Friday, April 26, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
Preying On The Vulnerable
A little post about questioning thing, and folks who prey on our vulnerabilities...
Friday, April 19, 2013
Searching
Searching for something that doesn't exist
In a clinched fist
Or open hand
Love on Demand
Temporary Rental
Serene yet temperamental
T
O
B
E
C
O
N
T
I
N
U
E
D
!
In a clinched fist
Or open hand
Love on Demand
Temporary Rental
Serene yet temperamental
T
O
B
E
C
O
N
T
I
N
U
E
D
!
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Central Park 5
A last minute post on my thoughts about the Central Park 5, and my own personal experience.
Peace,
MAB
MAB
Creative Something
So in this vid, I am really just free-styling about the creative space I am in. Yeah.
Peace,
MAB
The End Of Eating Everything
I love the trailer for this film. The visuals are crazy. I will be posting more things the creatively inspire me too.
Peace,
MAB
Peace,
MAB
Monday, April 15, 2013
Compassion and Courage...Courage and Compassion
In this vid I kind of talk about Jackie Robinson's indirect impact on me, and a little bit about having compassion in the wake of disaster.
Peace,
MAB
Peace,
MAB
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Make It Plain
Back in the Day one of the churches I used to go, a Deacon would always shout "make it plain" as the Pastor was preaching.
I get it now...
I thought I got it then...
Make it Plain!
Yes!
I get it now...
I thought I got it then...
Make it Plain!
Yes!
Like Father Like Son
Last Thursday my Pop was in a car accident. It was a 5 car collision and the person who rear ended him was either texting or something but she didn't break and that led him to hit the car in front of him and so forth and so on. The lady who hit him, her car flipped twice. I am thankful that he is okay (and the driver of the other cars as well), he is a little sore, but he is doing well otherwise. I went to Philly to check on him this weekend. I took him grocery shopping and just spent a few hours with him. I'm realizing as we grow older tomorrow is not promised and we have to cherish each moment. I was planning to go down that way this weekend (Philly/South Jersey) to see my niece off to her junior prom (she looked beautiful) so I decided to extend my stay and check in on him and my aunt as well. Even though I am very much a loner and love my me time, my family is very important to me. Sometimes I get so rapped up in my own world of activities that I forget to check in and simply say I love you. I take for granted that they know this but it is always nice to hear....
So yeah, while hanging with my Pops I just listened and I really noticed that we do have a lot of similarities in the way we think. On top of having similar mannerism as well. My mother always told me I walked with my Pop. This is peculiar to me, because I was not raised by my father; actually we had very little contact until my early 20s. Our relationship has been an exercise in forgiveness on probably both behalf's because I was passive aggressive and held a grudge longer than I needed to. He constantly reminds me to let go of yesterday and live in the moment. Build on the good things that happen and let go of the negative things. He has said this to me for 20 years now, but my bitterness didn't let me hear it for half of those years. I need to grow up, be a man a learn to forgive. I have and I am a better man for it.
Bottom line is, I am my father's son. I am of course paving my own way through life and am learning as I go along. He told me years ago he won't give me advice unless I ask because they are my choices and I have to live them and then he said..."plus you gonna do what you want to do anyway." I appreciate that, he supports me in what I do and doesn't dwell on the choices I make that may not turn out as I hoped. It is my turn to continue to accept him as he is, which in the overall scheme of things is pretty darn good. Funny, I feel like a kid when I am around him now, even though he never treats me like one. Just a thought popped into my head. I have a great deal of respect and admiration for him as a man and as my father, and I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to spend this time with him. So many cats never get that opportunity, so no more whining about what wasn't. It is about the present moment.
Side note on the end of this...
I was impressed that when we went shopping he bought healthy things read the labels for sodium content, and stayed away from red meat and pork. He has hypertension, so it is good to know he is watching what he eats.
So yeah, while hanging with my Pops I just listened and I really noticed that we do have a lot of similarities in the way we think. On top of having similar mannerism as well. My mother always told me I walked with my Pop. This is peculiar to me, because I was not raised by my father; actually we had very little contact until my early 20s. Our relationship has been an exercise in forgiveness on probably both behalf's because I was passive aggressive and held a grudge longer than I needed to. He constantly reminds me to let go of yesterday and live in the moment. Build on the good things that happen and let go of the negative things. He has said this to me for 20 years now, but my bitterness didn't let me hear it for half of those years. I need to grow up, be a man a learn to forgive. I have and I am a better man for it.
Bottom line is, I am my father's son. I am of course paving my own way through life and am learning as I go along. He told me years ago he won't give me advice unless I ask because they are my choices and I have to live them and then he said..."plus you gonna do what you want to do anyway." I appreciate that, he supports me in what I do and doesn't dwell on the choices I make that may not turn out as I hoped. It is my turn to continue to accept him as he is, which in the overall scheme of things is pretty darn good. Funny, I feel like a kid when I am around him now, even though he never treats me like one. Just a thought popped into my head. I have a great deal of respect and admiration for him as a man and as my father, and I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to spend this time with him. So many cats never get that opportunity, so no more whining about what wasn't. It is about the present moment.
Side note on the end of this...
I was impressed that when we went shopping he bought healthy things read the labels for sodium content, and stayed away from red meat and pork. He has hypertension, so it is good to know he is watching what he eats.
Monday, April 8, 2013
Resistance is Futile
I woke up this morning (duh) and as I was going about my morning rituals I felt some resistance to thoughts I was having. Didn't know why I was resisting this particular idea but I was. Anyway it got me to contemplating some things...
Peace,
MAB
MAB
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Revealing Oneself
So yesterday I had my first date since I've been back to NYC. There was the usual (well for me at least) nervous jitters type of thing happening. Will I make a good impression? Does my breath stink? Why did I forget to put on deodorant? You know the mind races all over the place. My mind naturally races and wanders and creates scenarios that are sometimes productive but can also be a distraction for me. We went to see the Basquiat exhibit at the Gagosian art gallery; yesterday was the last day and I wanted to see it one last time before it left. Then we went to Williamsburg for Thai food after walking around Manhattan a little bit. The conversation flowed pretty easily. It was good to be on a date with a woman who is extremely interesting, funny, beautiful and intelligent. The whole situation was very comfortable. Even the moments of silence were not awkward.
Anyway, when I initially met her there was definitely an attraction there, but my inner 7th grader came back and the words just didn't seem to flow right at first. I stumbled about trying to express myself. The thing that I noticed immediately was that she was assertive without being pushy or aggressive. It was a confidence about her, and that confidence was still evident on our date. During the course of our date I felt the urge to just let it all out. There was an honesty about her that helped me put my guard down. I am notoriously guarded about sharing my feelings. Add that to my commitment issues, and that more explains my singleness. Ok, I digressed and threw in a sympathy moment. Yeah, her energy was dope, and even on the areas which didn't seem to immediately compatible there was openness to the discussion that didn't make it seem that much of an issue after all.
Sometimes we meet people whose mere presence helps us to feel at ease. Their energy and warmth create a space that is conducive to sharing. The thing is if they are sincere they may not recognize that they have that type power. She has it, and if she knows it she does't let on. The thing is I'm enjoying the moment and not looking to far into the future and setting expectations based on some fantasy of how shit should be, but allowing it to just be. Which is how life should be in all of our relationships and experiences. Not that we go tell everything to everyone, but when we find that space where we can be vulnerable and open...do it. If you don't find a person then blog, journal or whatever. Create a space that you can just be so when you find a person who opens up your soul you don't feel like you are burdening them with your life story.
Peace,
MAB
Anyway, when I initially met her there was definitely an attraction there, but my inner 7th grader came back and the words just didn't seem to flow right at first. I stumbled about trying to express myself. The thing that I noticed immediately was that she was assertive without being pushy or aggressive. It was a confidence about her, and that confidence was still evident on our date. During the course of our date I felt the urge to just let it all out. There was an honesty about her that helped me put my guard down. I am notoriously guarded about sharing my feelings. Add that to my commitment issues, and that more explains my singleness. Ok, I digressed and threw in a sympathy moment. Yeah, her energy was dope, and even on the areas which didn't seem to immediately compatible there was openness to the discussion that didn't make it seem that much of an issue after all.
Sometimes we meet people whose mere presence helps us to feel at ease. Their energy and warmth create a space that is conducive to sharing. The thing is if they are sincere they may not recognize that they have that type power. She has it, and if she knows it she does't let on. The thing is I'm enjoying the moment and not looking to far into the future and setting expectations based on some fantasy of how shit should be, but allowing it to just be. Which is how life should be in all of our relationships and experiences. Not that we go tell everything to everyone, but when we find that space where we can be vulnerable and open...do it. If you don't find a person then blog, journal or whatever. Create a space that you can just be so when you find a person who opens up your soul you don't feel like you are burdening them with your life story.
Peace,
MAB
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Friday, April 5, 2013
Labels And The Ties That Bind
This one is about labeling and how labeling can be counterproductive to truth. I've eschewed labeling myself in the past because often times we are caught defending that label and what it means as opposed to finding the truth in the situation. Anyway, just some thoughts on the matter.
Peace,
MAB
Peace,
MAB
Thursday, April 4, 2013
This Journey
I've been thinking a lot lately about this journey, my journey, this Life, my Life. After my friend took his life, a feeling of mortality really hit me. Life is short and precious...Our time is valuable, or should be at least. We matter to someone somewhere out there. Even if we may not see it or believe it. So many times many of us go through life not knowing we are loved simply because. True love requires no return investment (although it would be nice). People may love us from afar or via a casual encounter somewhere, and something about us touched a place in their heart. The way we smiled or held open a door for someone and let them pass first. The slightest gesture can inspire feelings of love from another. I am speaking on that intangible love, by the way, not the Hollywood romance type of thing.
Anyway, I began this blog a while ago to track the changes in my life. To share my experiences as I change my thought to change my life. Looking back on it now it was kind of vague because change could mean anything. I wasn't as clear then in my own mind as to what it is I wanted or was seeking. Ask and It is Given, but what am I asking for? At the time I may have been clear but through evolution, space and time we realize that life is so much more than just what we previously experienced. Yeah, so I was starting this blog because I was unhappy, dissatisfied or eager for something new in my Life. Chances are it was surrounding money since I always seemed to be unhappy financially, but I digress. So again the question arose in me today, why am I doing this? What is it that, before I physically leave this planet, would leave me totally fulfilled?
As a child 3 things that people said about me resonate the most. I was sensitive (a cry-baby/mommy's boy), funny and had a vivid imagination. Although Moms is not here to a certain extent all 3 are still very true. They've been my foundation and the thing I retreat to when I need a release from the real world. I've added other dimensions to my personality but at my core these are the elements I've carried with me the longest. They've sustained me... I hide the sensitivity part because... well I just did. Lately though with so much turmoil in the world, it has been more difficult to just tuck it away. So I use a pen, pad and camera to work through it. The thing that I am working on is "worrying" about how it will be received, and simply letting it Be.
MAB
Pieces Of A Man
Gil Scott-Heron
Anyway, I began this blog a while ago to track the changes in my life. To share my experiences as I change my thought to change my life. Looking back on it now it was kind of vague because change could mean anything. I wasn't as clear then in my own mind as to what it is I wanted or was seeking. Ask and It is Given, but what am I asking for? At the time I may have been clear but through evolution, space and time we realize that life is so much more than just what we previously experienced. Yeah, so I was starting this blog because I was unhappy, dissatisfied or eager for something new in my Life. Chances are it was surrounding money since I always seemed to be unhappy financially, but I digress. So again the question arose in me today, why am I doing this? What is it that, before I physically leave this planet, would leave me totally fulfilled?
As a child 3 things that people said about me resonate the most. I was sensitive (a cry-baby/mommy's boy), funny and had a vivid imagination. Although Moms is not here to a certain extent all 3 are still very true. They've been my foundation and the thing I retreat to when I need a release from the real world. I've added other dimensions to my personality but at my core these are the elements I've carried with me the longest. They've sustained me... I hide the sensitivity part because... well I just did. Lately though with so much turmoil in the world, it has been more difficult to just tuck it away. So I use a pen, pad and camera to work through it. The thing that I am working on is "worrying" about how it will be received, and simply letting it Be.
MAB
Gil Scott-Heron
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Hidden
I hide behind Jokes and Fairy-tales
Hiding the sensitive parts of me
Head in the sand
Emotionally uncommitted
Wanting the very thing I fear
Fearing the happiness it will bring
Retreating into safety's layers
Leaving it for tomorrow
Unresolved
Tucked away
Hidden
Hiding the sensitive parts of me
Head in the sand
Emotionally uncommitted
Wanting the very thing I fear
Fearing the happiness it will bring
Retreating into safety's layers
Leaving it for tomorrow
Unresolved
Tucked away
Hidden
Monday, April 1, 2013
Let's Be Social
So yesterday I was talking to a friend of mine about a myriad of things as we usually do, and the topic of R&B singers came up. He said that there weren't as many good "singers" today as it was in our day (I know we sound like our elders before us but hey). As the conversation went on I realized that part of the issue may be social networking and how entertainment is disseminated to the public. My point was and is that now people don't really have a focus on live shows, because even the live show are digitized and auto-tuned. Anyway, this is not an indictment of any sort just a recognition if you will of some differences.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
The Voice
This blog is about using our voice and not being afraid of being redundant when speaking your voice even if that point has been hammered home by others. We need more voices and more variety in those voices when speaking on issues that matter. Sometimes we may be alone in speaking our mind and that is really when you need to raise your voice whether in speech or action.
Peace,
MAB
Peace,
MAB
Thursday, March 28, 2013
The Light
In our own unique way, I believe each of us are seeking The Light. Whether it be the Light at the end of the tunnel or a light within ourselves that lets us know everything will be okay. We want it and we need it, but we've managed to somehow let that light dim or believe that it is too far away to see and achieve so we've given up. I know on many occasions I've wanted to pack it in and call it a day, but that voice on the inside keeps me searching and seeking that Light! It is not always literal giving up, but many of us wake up every day defeated and resigned to our previous days fate unwilling or unable to see something new and refreshing in this day.
I watched PBS NewsHour last night and it is by far a better news source than anything else out there. I didn't feel manipulated, frightened or worried about my Life while watching it. It was literally just reporting followed by a couple of feel good worthy stories at the end. It had me thinking about other "news" sources and how their quest for ratings has taken the focus away from true journalism into a type of variety show. It dims our Light. It has us fearing the invisible that may or may not ever happen. It doesn't teach us to search for the answers and seek out our Light. It doesn't inform us on how we as a nation and as a people can be of service to others and a healing Light to the world. It leaves us empty, it is calories without substance.
My Light gets dimmed every once in a while! I begin to focus on the things that aren't going right or going the way that I may have wanted them to go, and lose sight of the bigger picture in and for my Life. I intended to write a scathing blog today on people's (via the media) laziness and all that, but in the end it is better to shine a Light than curse the darkness as they say. Go outside today, this morning even and as Richard Pryor said in his autobiography, "let a little sun hit your face."
Peace & Love,
MAB
I watched PBS NewsHour last night and it is by far a better news source than anything else out there. I didn't feel manipulated, frightened or worried about my Life while watching it. It was literally just reporting followed by a couple of feel good worthy stories at the end. It had me thinking about other "news" sources and how their quest for ratings has taken the focus away from true journalism into a type of variety show. It dims our Light. It has us fearing the invisible that may or may not ever happen. It doesn't teach us to search for the answers and seek out our Light. It doesn't inform us on how we as a nation and as a people can be of service to others and a healing Light to the world. It leaves us empty, it is calories without substance.
My Light gets dimmed every once in a while! I begin to focus on the things that aren't going right or going the way that I may have wanted them to go, and lose sight of the bigger picture in and for my Life. I intended to write a scathing blog today on people's (via the media) laziness and all that, but in the end it is better to shine a Light than curse the darkness as they say. Go outside today, this morning even and as Richard Pryor said in his autobiography, "let a little sun hit your face."
Peace & Love,
MAB
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
The Pressure
When I am in this creative state that I'm in right now I put a lot pressure on myself to get IT done right now. I get restless, impatient and annoyed easily. It feels like the world is passing me by and I'm completely worthless because the project(s) aren't done. Completely irrational I know, but that is what's happening right about now. These are the times when I really need to slow down and say everything is okay, this process takes time and you are not on anyone else's schedule. Relax and have fun which is why I started this in the beginning.
Desperation can breed irrational behavior and inappropriate choices. It doesn't allow us to act wisely or take the time to sit back and think things through. What I noticed over the last couple of weeks is that putting pressure on myself has led to an unnecessary sense of desperation and is leading me to go back and straighten out some wrongs that could've been right if I had just chilled out and let it be.
Anywho, we live and learn. Or as my Pop likes to say, "If yesterday was a good day build on it, if not let it go." Thanks Pop! I'm letting it go and moving onward. No more Pressure
Pic by www.musicstack.com
Song- A Tribe Called Quest-The Pressure
Desperation can breed irrational behavior and inappropriate choices. It doesn't allow us to act wisely or take the time to sit back and think things through. What I noticed over the last couple of weeks is that putting pressure on myself has led to an unnecessary sense of desperation and is leading me to go back and straighten out some wrongs that could've been right if I had just chilled out and let it be.
Anywho, we live and learn. Or as my Pop likes to say, "If yesterday was a good day build on it, if not let it go." Thanks Pop! I'm letting it go and moving onward. No more Pressure
Song- A Tribe Called Quest-The Pressure
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Overwhelming/Finding my space
With the proliferation of media outlets feeding our brains with fear based reporting, it is imperative for those of us who still want to remain active in the process to find time and a space to unwind and rejuvenate our mind, body and soul.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Why are ye so fearful?
"And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?"
Mark 4:40
Let me first that I picked that version of the parable because it is from the book of Mark. Kidding. Kind of. Anyway, as I was going through my twitter feed today checking out tweets and just observing the variety of tweets that people post. Some are direct and some beat around the bush, some clever and others mean spirited. I came across some folks though that don't care and not in the negative way at all, but they have a point to make and they will say it. I don't know if that is my style but I applaud and appreciate the boldness, and not just boldness for the sake of being bold but also with (in my opinion) a valid beef, point or observation. Boldness also doesn't have to be loud and obnoxious, and I think we have misconstrued the two. We have managed to equate boldness and strength with loudness and in affect managed to watch a whole of lot strong men and women get turned away and frustrated because their needs were not met. As a society we lose out because this, valuable resources are lost and communities get overlooked and turned away.
Mark 4:40
Let me first that I picked that version of the parable because it is from the book of Mark. Kidding. Kind of. Anyway, as I was going through my twitter feed today checking out tweets and just observing the variety of tweets that people post. Some are direct and some beat around the bush, some clever and others mean spirited. I came across some folks though that don't care and not in the negative way at all, but they have a point to make and they will say it. I don't know if that is my style but I applaud and appreciate the boldness, and not just boldness for the sake of being bold but also with (in my opinion) a valid beef, point or observation. Boldness also doesn't have to be loud and obnoxious, and I think we have misconstrued the two. We have managed to equate boldness and strength with loudness and in affect managed to watch a whole of lot strong men and women get turned away and frustrated because their needs were not met. As a society we lose out because this, valuable resources are lost and communities get overlooked and turned away.
So, yeah what does this have to do with fear and me? I am glad you asked. I've kind of looked at film-making and art as my voice and the way that I speak and get my point across. Today I realized that may not be enough for me. I was having a conversation with a friend of mine right before I moved from L.A. and at the end of the conversation she said to me, "I didn't know you were so political." I was shocked at myself because social activism and politics are important to me (not the political parties mind you) and I had managed to not speak up on it. Which brings my to the fearful part, because of my leanings are sometimes very far from the mainstream and some would even call radical I feared getting into confrontations over it. I am very passionate about things and often my conversations on politics (and Tyler Perry movies) get heated. So I managed to kind of just let things ride and keep my views to myself. As I look for balance and serenity in my life I need to find ways to release and discuss my feelings without getting heated or worry about ridicule or being right.
I really don't go back to often and check my prior posts. I think one day I will just grab a cup of green tea and read away. I am sure or at least hope I have had some posts that talk about my feeling on politics and how I feel socially about things. If not here is a quick breakdown. Real quick. Mainstream media is whack (biased and uninformative)! We need a third party (fourth and fifth too), we need major education re-haul where nothing is left off the table (even questioning the unions role in its decline) I don't care for either major party. One is better than the other but both have serious flaws. Yeah, anyway this post when I first started was about changing my thoughts, I realize that some don't need changing just verbalizing them in a productive way.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Friday, March 15, 2013
Heavy Heart
Today I heard that a great friend of mine passed away a few weeks ago. Even though we had not spoken in a little while, the impact of his kindness, generosity and humor will always be with me. My prayers go out to all who have lost a loved one recently. Cherish the relationships in your life. They are important and necessary. Much Love.
Peace
Peace
Saturday, March 9, 2013
No control
Relinquishing control over our lives can be challenging for those of us who feel we have no control to begin with.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Projections Of The Way Life Used To Be.
So today while having a conversation with a great friend of mine, I was about project my fears on spending, saving and loot in general. As I was about to express my opinion I stopped myself for a couple reasons. Well really one reason...HE DIDN'T ASK ME! Basically had I shared my opinion it would have been Ego and fear driven based on my own insecurities.
To often in life we are too willing to share when it isn't warranted or welcomed. We have to know when what we our sharing is a help or a hindrance. The human ego is a powerful tool! I don't believe it is always as bad as people make it out to be when used properly so to speak. It has allowed me to know when to say when and when to push through. It can be useful when trained to be.
So I guess the moral of the story is to STAY IN YOUR OWN LANE! Unless someone asks you to merge.
To often in life we are too willing to share when it isn't warranted or welcomed. We have to know when what we our sharing is a help or a hindrance. The human ego is a powerful tool! I don't believe it is always as bad as people make it out to be when used properly so to speak. It has allowed me to know when to say when and when to push through. It can be useful when trained to be.
So I guess the moral of the story is to STAY IN YOUR OWN LANE! Unless someone asks you to merge.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Dreams vs Fantasy
So a few things have been on my mind lately...actually quite a few things...on the top of the list what makes something a dream and what makes it a fantasy...
is it other peoples opinions on the matter?
is it the realistic chance of obtaining such thought?
is it a matter of right place, right time?
Chance?
It has been on my mind for various reason...In my life I've been caller a dreamer (I'll take that) and that I live in a fantasy world (hmmm...not so much...well maybe)
I mean there is a difference between wanting to marry the model on the cover of SI swimsuit issue and setting your sights on being an artist, writer or ventriloquist right?
Who determines this though?
Is there a difference between obsessing on something and focusing on it?
I dunno...
Just random thoughts...
Keep dreaming and keep believing I say...
is it other peoples opinions on the matter?
is it the realistic chance of obtaining such thought?
is it a matter of right place, right time?
Chance?
It has been on my mind for various reason...In my life I've been caller a dreamer (I'll take that) and that I live in a fantasy world (hmmm...not so much...well maybe)
I mean there is a difference between wanting to marry the model on the cover of SI swimsuit issue and setting your sights on being an artist, writer or ventriloquist right?
Who determines this though?
Is there a difference between obsessing on something and focusing on it?
I dunno...
Just random thoughts...
Keep dreaming and keep believing I say...
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