Desire

It has been 2 weeks since I last put my thoughts, words and ideas about MySelf and My Life down in the blog... I felt the urge to push it back again today...wait until tonight or whatever, that would be the best time I kept telling myself but in actuality it was just another way to procrastinate and put off what has to be done...

The thing is this blog has truly helped me in ways I hadn't realized until the last few days. Putting your ideas and all that out there for whomever to see is therapeutic of course but it is something also much larger. I cannot really quite grasp what the word is I am looking for but I feel freer when I do this. I feel alive and invigorated sort of the same way as when I create my art, whether it is writing, creating a song or working on my screenplay. Creativity is my Life's purpose. I was born to create, and in that process I've learned to be creative outside of what is normally considered creative avenues. I've learned to be creative in my giving back(or paying It forward). I found ways to meet my desire to help others without it taking a toll on me and burning me out.

A few days ago as I was sitting down to pray and meditate and get my whole "mind right", getting back that sense of balance that was starting to escape me, then I realized I had never really truly explored how I want my Life to look. I mean I have said it in passing the things in Life I want etc., but I never really took the time to explore the things My Soul Desires... beyond just the surface wants and all that. I know my purpose is to be creative but how does that look, and how does it manifest itself. I felt the need to be more specific without suffocating It at the same time. As I started to explore this I was expecting some grandiose elongated list of things, but It was very Simple! Very Freeing and Very Me. The lesson I learned from doing that exercise was that there is profound beauty in simplicity. Life doesn't have to be complex to beautiful. Appreciate the small things that make me smile.