The Weirdness

Today was very much a weird day for me... I woke up with an anxiety attack of sorts... I have had this knotting up of some sort of tension happening in stomach for sometime now...

I think it is something trying to be worked out...

Could be growing pains....hmmmm

I am now seeking to look at things as a positive awakening and not the other shoe about to drop on something negative...

Calling into my existence the very things I want in my life, I am nervous right now...

I may have said this before...really have not gone back to reread to many of my blogs yet...

I will soon though...need to gauge my "progress"...

Oh yeah...so I really have no excuses right now as far as making my first short film...

I could use finances as an excuse, but honestly it would be a lame one at best...

I want it done so it can be done...

Having faith and praying as if it is already done...

But yeah... this morning I woke up with a knot in my stomach I laid there and allowed myself to just breathe...not force anything and make it out to be something bad happening but just dealt with it without judgment... did some heavy meditating and praying this morning because of it...
and watched my day unfold...connected with some old friends from home who are now moving out here... went to the library and got some more books on filmmaking..and just allowed my day to flow...

And here I am... knowing that something is happening right now for me, I am really attempting to not tinker with anything and just flow...just flow...I've never really done that before...and honestly I am having such a hard time with it right now, but it is what has to be done...I am learning the tools of the trade...I've planted the seeds now I must step back and not over water the soil...Yeah

Just let it grow...while I grow as well...