Friday, February 22, 2013
Perfect Timing
We are in a vital place in out human development!
So many things are shifting and changing!
What was the status quo is no longer relevant.
Compassion and understanding is what we need...
People have to stand up and speak up!
The time is now...
Some times shit is drastic and we gotta shout to make a point...
So many things are shifting and changing!
What was the status quo is no longer relevant.
Compassion and understanding is what we need...
People have to stand up and speak up!
The time is now...
Some times shit is drastic and we gotta shout to make a point...
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Going Somewhere...
Well to be quite honest I don't know where this post is going, but I felt the need to write something. It has been on my heart and mind to just sit down and write. I really don't know where this one will be going but hopefully it will go somewhere. It has to. It has been two months since I have been back in Brooklyn but it seems like six months or so. I know that is a random arbitrary thing but the point is that it really does seem a lot longer. I have not been out as much over the last few weeks and it shows. When I looked into the mirror today I looked like Damon Wayans character in The Great White Hype when he gained weight but mostly in his gut. My new gig has me working from home and over the 6 months that I've been doing it I have been, for lack of a better word, lazy. My walking and exercising has virtually stopped and that too is beginning to show. There are times that I am in denial that I am getting older and being able to eat whatever and sit on my ass obviously isn't an option any more. I understand the notion that age is only in your mind, and I subscribe to that theory no doubt; but some physical things that come with living are undeniable. So my goal this week is to walk every morning before I start work because I know that once I finish working that is a rap. I pride myself in being physically fit, so it is imperative that I maintain that.
Speaking of which the other day my blood pressure was off the charts high. To be honest I was quite frightened. The second and third times it came down, but still it is time to get a physical. One of the things that happened when I first got back here was that I ate out a lot, and not always from the best restaurants. Places like the local Chinese or Caribbean joint and they are not always the most healthy place to catch a grub even if it is the "vegetarian" dishes. On that note, I have been toying with adding fish back into my diet, no other seafood though just fish. I don't really feel much of a difference, they say it is good for your heart so we will see. It won't be an everyday, week or month thing just every now and then if I decide to keep doing it. Okay, so back to my blood pressure, it runs deep on both sides of my family. I truly believe that part of that is that folks eat massive amounts of meat and whatnot but I have eaten meat in years...unless you include fish...but it still seems to be an issue for me. So I have not bought salt in my new crib and I use alternate seasonings to season my food. It is taking time to adjust because I am used to heavy seasoning on my food. Even my veggies. Now my body (or is it my mind) is craving salt, once I get it under control I will figure out when to add salt and to what. but for now I cut out any seasoning with a high amount of sodium in it. It is best for now.
In going through some old emails, I realized that it has been three years since I filmed Casual Friday, my short film. I have written quite a few scripts in that time, but nothing has really come from them yet. I actually like most of them, and am really anxious to get back behind a camera. So in addition to getting my walk on before I start working I will be working on a plan to get some of these scripts filmed. I have access to a few things it is just a matter of just getting it done and stop making excuses about why it can't be done. Complacency is a pretty dangerous thing! I was about to call it a drug, but yeah you get the point. It is time to put in some work. One because I admire a lot of the web series and independent films that are coming out right about now, two because I am immensely competitive and three because I feel like I have learned so much since Casual Friday about the process of filmmaking. The last 3 years were a real growing experience for me. A lot of ideas about who I am or who I thought I was were shattered. Which was/is a good thing. The end process is that I am becoming a good filmmaker, but an even better person. That is the most important thing.
Here is a snippet of my block during the blizzard last night....
Speaking of which the other day my blood pressure was off the charts high. To be honest I was quite frightened. The second and third times it came down, but still it is time to get a physical. One of the things that happened when I first got back here was that I ate out a lot, and not always from the best restaurants. Places like the local Chinese or Caribbean joint and they are not always the most healthy place to catch a grub even if it is the "vegetarian" dishes. On that note, I have been toying with adding fish back into my diet, no other seafood though just fish. I don't really feel much of a difference, they say it is good for your heart so we will see. It won't be an everyday, week or month thing just every now and then if I decide to keep doing it. Okay, so back to my blood pressure, it runs deep on both sides of my family. I truly believe that part of that is that folks eat massive amounts of meat and whatnot but I have eaten meat in years...unless you include fish...but it still seems to be an issue for me. So I have not bought salt in my new crib and I use alternate seasonings to season my food. It is taking time to adjust because I am used to heavy seasoning on my food. Even my veggies. Now my body (or is it my mind) is craving salt, once I get it under control I will figure out when to add salt and to what. but for now I cut out any seasoning with a high amount of sodium in it. It is best for now.
In going through some old emails, I realized that it has been three years since I filmed Casual Friday, my short film. I have written quite a few scripts in that time, but nothing has really come from them yet. I actually like most of them, and am really anxious to get back behind a camera. So in addition to getting my walk on before I start working I will be working on a plan to get some of these scripts filmed. I have access to a few things it is just a matter of just getting it done and stop making excuses about why it can't be done. Complacency is a pretty dangerous thing! I was about to call it a drug, but yeah you get the point. It is time to put in some work. One because I admire a lot of the web series and independent films that are coming out right about now, two because I am immensely competitive and three because I feel like I have learned so much since Casual Friday about the process of filmmaking. The last 3 years were a real growing experience for me. A lot of ideas about who I am or who I thought I was were shattered. Which was/is a good thing. The end process is that I am becoming a good filmmaker, but an even better person. That is the most important thing.
Here is a snippet of my block during the blizzard last night....
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Vid Blog
Monday, January 21, 2013
Monday, December 31, 2012
The Newness revisited
Wow, so I haven't posted here since August. Time flies and to be quite honest I kind of forgot this was here until today. A lot has transpired since my last post. My Aunt who is very special to me passed away, I left the LA to return to Brooklyn and I gave away a majority of my possessions. I feel freer than I have in many years and I have no expectations of what I think tomorrow should look like. I truly don't know and really don't want to know. I like being in the moment right now. It has really very little to do with the New Year since I am not the resolution type of dude, but I am committed to embracing the changes I made in 2012 and expanding them from here on out. It is important to know where I am going and I like who I am in getting there. Life is Good. God is Good . And So It Is.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Feel Something
I am increasingly becoming more compassionate. I think that is the word for it. I am feeling something more and more each day. Sometimes a since of just despair will hit me, this is interesting because I cannot think of the last time I actually watched the news. Twitter has really kept me abreast of what is going on in the world and I do read some print online media from time to time. The thing I really noticed is that there is a lot of anger and tension manifesting in our behavior right now. I always say our because I don't like to disassociate mySelf from people and act like I am above or better than anyone or anything. So yeah, even before the two tragic events in Colorado and Wisconsin. Place like Chicago and Philadelphia have seen astronomical rises in violence, especially in the Black and poor communities. The part that has really hit home for me is the ages of a lot of the victims. A lot have been teenagers and young adults. The shocking part is how easily we've dismissed it. We assume they are gang-bangers or drug dealers. We've looked for ways to disassociate ourselves from this issue, because we don't believe our politicians can or will do something we have stopped asking. We sit by and watch as a whole generation collapses.
My first step is to continually pray for peace. I started to do this before but I will send prayers specifically to Philly and Chicago. I will email, politicians and local non-profits to see how they are combating the issue and see how I can help remotely and when the opportunity arises more hands on. Faith without works is dead. I believe in the spiritual path first and foremost but I also I still believe in action. The thing I admired about Jesus was his action. He fed the hungry, he raised the dead and he did what needed to be done in the moment. We can wait for someone to uplift or we can roll up our sleeves and uplift one another.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Assessing situations
The Ego has reared its head again. My sister bought me a book on relationships. I didn't know how to take it really. I've explained to her that being in a relationship is not a top priority for me right now. Yes I would like to be in a relationship and yes sometimes being single has its drawbacks. That being said Life is happening for me and to me right now. Some things exhilarating in a positive sense and others well they are causing me some angst, but I am in it. A relationship could enhance it or not who knows, but I won't go searching for one just to be in one, and I am not quite sure that a book would solve the issue for me anyway.
WAIT...This wasn't even supposed to be about the book...woos-sah
Now I have loss track of what it is I am writing about. Final thought on that. I read a lot of books that deal with spirituality. Not so much into the self-help genre...Love you sis. :-D
So the assessing situations. As I am preparing to leave on apartment for another. I am going through things and looking at where I am with Life etc., and well I don't know where I am...LOL...That's the honest truth. Things have been hectic and chaotic in my mind more than any place else and I have not allowed mySelf to just take a step back and breathe...woo-sah...between writing, creating, working and playing I have just been going non-stop since early June. As I sit here writing this I can feel the lack of centeredness in the pit of my stomach. There is an uneasiness. Not bad but just hectic and uncertain. I have to remember to stop be still and just breathe. It will help. It always has...
Alright I came here for something else and once again my Mind meandered. Bottom line is I need to appreciate the activities that have been going on in my Life but to remember being still is extremely important. Life is good...
Monday, July 23, 2012
Oh shit!
People actually read this...I mean wow. I just checked the audience numbers for the blog for the first time.
I guess I thought people would. Maybe friends and some family. I am shocked maybe impressed, but the humility won't let me say that. Even though I just did. ;-)
As I began writing this it really was just about me expressing who I am. I disabled the comment section well because it was really just about me sharing, not others correcting. My desire was in me sharing my journey it would inspire others in some way to look within and rise up as I needed to. I am still rising!
I know that I am not alone in the challenges that arise in life. Whether it is desiring a relationship or looking for financial stability everyone (or most everyone) has their something that is has been a challenge to overcome.
My guardedness brought me to this point. I don't know if I am any less guarded when it comes to the emotional "vulnerability" type shit but I have seen a more willingness to step out of my comfort zone. That was one of the goals of this, but the chief goal still is to improve my quality of life.
Change just for the sake of change is not enough for me. Breaking down the barriers that bonded me to mediocrity is my ultimate goal and purpose.
I guess I thought people would. Maybe friends and some family. I am shocked maybe impressed, but the humility won't let me say that. Even though I just did. ;-)
As I began writing this it really was just about me expressing who I am. I disabled the comment section well because it was really just about me sharing, not others correcting. My desire was in me sharing my journey it would inspire others in some way to look within and rise up as I needed to. I am still rising!
I know that I am not alone in the challenges that arise in life. Whether it is desiring a relationship or looking for financial stability everyone (or most everyone) has their something that is has been a challenge to overcome.
My guardedness brought me to this point. I don't know if I am any less guarded when it comes to the emotional "vulnerability" type shit but I have seen a more willingness to step out of my comfort zone. That was one of the goals of this, but the chief goal still is to improve my quality of life.
Change just for the sake of change is not enough for me. Breaking down the barriers that bonded me to mediocrity is my ultimate goal and purpose.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
I have an EGO...there I said it. I can at times be stubborn...let it go. I've been known to be a know it all...purge. I am impatient and have had bouts of moodines...woooo saaaah.
Whew I had to let that out. See as of late I've been putting myself under a lot of pressure to be sort of perfect, and in my mind sometimes I make everything about me when it really isn't. I take things personally and create conflicts where none exist. It was a trait that was popular for me in the past and as I spoke on yesterday sometimes old habits die hard. When things are not going as planned I have a desire to inch back into my comfort zone. When I need a timeout from people, places or things instead of me just taking the timeout, I would create havoc to give me a reason for the timeout. I would look at alone time kind of as a punishment instead of just what it is, a time to reflect and regroup. I like being alone. I am cool around other folks as well but my alone time is precious to me, and I felt like I needed an excuse to take it. I don't!
Yeah I think that is all I have for today. I never know how to end these things. Kind of feels like one of the old Spike Lee movies. Where I just yell at the screen and yell wake up, but I am wide awake. That is why I am doing this. Because I am awake to not only changing but improving. Getting better and sharing that journey. I will acknowledge actually that I have improved. Sometime that self-acknowledgment doesn't come quick enough from me, and I don't always pat my self on the back. I no longer see my life as a train wreck waiting to happen. It is a journey and I am in charge of the journey. I am progressing and making strides daily and by enlarge I am pretty happy with the results.
Ok, now I really don't know how to end this. The Spike Lee joke was where I intended to stop....
So.....WAKE UPPPPPPPPPP!
Whew I had to let that out. See as of late I've been putting myself under a lot of pressure to be sort of perfect, and in my mind sometimes I make everything about me when it really isn't. I take things personally and create conflicts where none exist. It was a trait that was popular for me in the past and as I spoke on yesterday sometimes old habits die hard. When things are not going as planned I have a desire to inch back into my comfort zone. When I need a timeout from people, places or things instead of me just taking the timeout, I would create havoc to give me a reason for the timeout. I would look at alone time kind of as a punishment instead of just what it is, a time to reflect and regroup. I like being alone. I am cool around other folks as well but my alone time is precious to me, and I felt like I needed an excuse to take it. I don't!
Yeah I think that is all I have for today. I never know how to end these things. Kind of feels like one of the old Spike Lee movies. Where I just yell at the screen and yell wake up, but I am wide awake. That is why I am doing this. Because I am awake to not only changing but improving. Getting better and sharing that journey. I will acknowledge actually that I have improved. Sometime that self-acknowledgment doesn't come quick enough from me, and I don't always pat my self on the back. I no longer see my life as a train wreck waiting to happen. It is a journey and I am in charge of the journey. I am progressing and making strides daily and by enlarge I am pretty happy with the results.
Ok, now I really don't know how to end this. The Spike Lee joke was where I intended to stop....
So.....WAKE UPPPPPPPPPP!
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Going Within
So, a few months back I did this 21 day winter meditation challenge through the Chopra Center, and it was really good. I fell back off my practice of meditating but that was on me not them. Yeah, so I received an email saying that they would be doing a 21 day summer challenge. Low and behold another chance to get this right. The "challenge" started yesterday and it was and has been a challenge, because for whatever reason I have not been able to access the meditations through my phone like I could before. I have my own theories but whatever, bottom line is I couldn't get on to do it. Usually I would get all kinds of frustrated and go off on some tangent about this that or the third. This morning I tried again and to no avail. (Side note spiritual center or not customer service should respond lol). I digress...oh yeah...this was something I was looking forward to and felt I "needed" in my spiritual growth and development. The excuses began to roll out of my mouth, and it would have been very easy to give up and move on. Then the thought hit me. Go on without it, ok actually I said fuck it but not in the negative tone but more of a there is another solution and I will find it sort of way.
The penchant for excuse making was a great hobby for me. There were excuses for every situation imaginable, and if not I found a way to develop one. Then when my mom passed, when I was 16, for a while I had a ready made excuse and was able to coast through with minimal effort exerted. The result was that I received minimal reward, and very few people were willing to call me on the laziness because they "couldn't imagine what I was going through". Then when that was no longer a viable option as an excuse I would manufacture another one and keep the lethargy party rolling. What exacerbated matter more was that I was a great talker. Yeah, so needless to say this period in my life was filled with mediocrity in effort and results. As with many things old habits die hard and recognition is the first step. Gratefully I am not that cat anymore, but I still am working my way into the man I am destined to be. It is a life long process. There is no simple pill to digest that will cure what was, but understanding that life can be much better when there is honesty and trust with myself has helped me more that any outside source I can think of.
So I'm writing this as I am releasing the need to rely on anything else outside of mySelf. The lesson for today was trust in yourself, and the answers will appear. I was once told and then read many times some things should come to me with ease and grace, and spiritual enlightenment falls in that category for me. If something or someone is able to assist me in my growth that is awesome and I am all for it, but there is a difference between assistance and dependence. I am totally accepting of assistance while letting go of the dependence. Woooo Saaaaah.... ;-)
The penchant for excuse making was a great hobby for me. There were excuses for every situation imaginable, and if not I found a way to develop one. Then when my mom passed, when I was 16, for a while I had a ready made excuse and was able to coast through with minimal effort exerted. The result was that I received minimal reward, and very few people were willing to call me on the laziness because they "couldn't imagine what I was going through". Then when that was no longer a viable option as an excuse I would manufacture another one and keep the lethargy party rolling. What exacerbated matter more was that I was a great talker. Yeah, so needless to say this period in my life was filled with mediocrity in effort and results. As with many things old habits die hard and recognition is the first step. Gratefully I am not that cat anymore, but I still am working my way into the man I am destined to be. It is a life long process. There is no simple pill to digest that will cure what was, but understanding that life can be much better when there is honesty and trust with myself has helped me more that any outside source I can think of.
So I'm writing this as I am releasing the need to rely on anything else outside of mySelf. The lesson for today was trust in yourself, and the answers will appear. I was once told and then read many times some things should come to me with ease and grace, and spiritual enlightenment falls in that category for me. If something or someone is able to assist me in my growth that is awesome and I am all for it, but there is a difference between assistance and dependence. I am totally accepting of assistance while letting go of the dependence. Woooo Saaaaah.... ;-)
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
The Journey
What I came for was an acting career what I got is a spiritual awakening...
When I moved to LA I was hell bent on kick-starting my acting career. I had grown complacent and outside of a few student films and a few plays in Brooklyn I was not even really trying. So I figured a change of scenery would do me wonders (plus NYC changed after 9/11). Little did I know how much it would do for me. I have grown exponentially since the move. Much more than just as an actor but as an artist, a person, an activist and a man. Along the way I have realized that I am a storyteller. I love writing and expressing myself via words and ideas. Today more than ever I am more confident in my writing and creative abilities. There is work still to be done of course, but this feels right in ways that other endeavors have not. I'm continuously discovering new things that inspire me when I sit down and write and focus my attention on that. I get lost in the page and things(magic) happens for me. Knowing your purpose brings a certain power with it that opens more doors than I could have ever imagined...
So yeah the spiritual awakening part. Part of what I realized recently was that there was a spirituality missing in my art and activism. There was that aspect that I admired in many of the elders who made sacrifices for me to be hear today had. God! I believed God existed but I had only encounter God via religion and often there was something incomplete in how I was receiving it. I would get some meaning from it but it was not lasting. I felt as thought God was created in man's image and not vice versa how it is supposed to be. Anyway, when I got out to Cali and was introduced to the New Thought movement (Agape, Founders and Guidance) as well as Unity Churches and Self-Realization Temples(Lake Shrine) things started to click for me. I felt a connection for the first time of something much larger than me. It was great to be able to fellowship with people who had similar beliefs from varying backgrounds. I felt at home wherever I went even if it was for the first time. It was amazing! Through that fellow-shipping I was able to commit myself to causes that were also much larger than myself (Peace4kids and Be The Cause) and again I felt at home. I was and am able to act with Spirit in mind and I am learning to make intuitive moves instead of random guesses. A work in progress that is progressing nicely.
So as I continue my journey that may or may not take me elsewhere I am eternally grateful for the extended family I've encountered over that last 8 years, and look forward to watching Spirit escalate in our lives.
When I moved to LA I was hell bent on kick-starting my acting career. I had grown complacent and outside of a few student films and a few plays in Brooklyn I was not even really trying. So I figured a change of scenery would do me wonders (plus NYC changed after 9/11). Little did I know how much it would do for me. I have grown exponentially since the move. Much more than just as an actor but as an artist, a person, an activist and a man. Along the way I have realized that I am a storyteller. I love writing and expressing myself via words and ideas. Today more than ever I am more confident in my writing and creative abilities. There is work still to be done of course, but this feels right in ways that other endeavors have not. I'm continuously discovering new things that inspire me when I sit down and write and focus my attention on that. I get lost in the page and things(magic) happens for me. Knowing your purpose brings a certain power with it that opens more doors than I could have ever imagined...
So yeah the spiritual awakening part. Part of what I realized recently was that there was a spirituality missing in my art and activism. There was that aspect that I admired in many of the elders who made sacrifices for me to be hear today had. God! I believed God existed but I had only encounter God via religion and often there was something incomplete in how I was receiving it. I would get some meaning from it but it was not lasting. I felt as thought God was created in man's image and not vice versa how it is supposed to be. Anyway, when I got out to Cali and was introduced to the New Thought movement (Agape, Founders and Guidance) as well as Unity Churches and Self-Realization Temples(Lake Shrine) things started to click for me. I felt a connection for the first time of something much larger than me. It was great to be able to fellowship with people who had similar beliefs from varying backgrounds. I felt at home wherever I went even if it was for the first time. It was amazing! Through that fellow-shipping I was able to commit myself to causes that were also much larger than myself (Peace4kids and Be The Cause) and again I felt at home. I was and am able to act with Spirit in mind and I am learning to make intuitive moves instead of random guesses. A work in progress that is progressing nicely.
So as I continue my journey that may or may not take me elsewhere I am eternally grateful for the extended family I've encountered over that last 8 years, and look forward to watching Spirit escalate in our lives.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Been a long second
Been a while since I've posted in here. Don't have a reason, kind of just been overlooking it. As I prepare for the next phase in this journey called life I began to realize sharing is a big part of it for me. That is the main reason I got into arts is because of the sharing aspect of it. When I first began acting it felt good to be on stage with other folks sharing our creative inspirations. I like that. Back then I was really concerned with feedback from other, how they thought I did, what did they like about it, what could I have done differently etc. Now that part is not as important to me as much as... did I do my best at that time? Did I grow from the experience? It is no longer about pleasing other but being pleased with mySelf. Understanding that everything is not going to be for everyone and accepting that.
Anywho....I got waaaaaay off topic. I hadn't been sharing and I miss that. Not only sharing my thought but sharing the things and experiences that inspire me to be better, things that make me laugh, things that make me shake my head and things that make me go....hmmmmm ;-) I will be revamping the out look over the next few weeks. To help express the growth and development that has been occurring within me over the last few months. Some changes I won't share immediately but I will get to it, and others as I feel them and experience them I will let em rip and post immediately.
Who knows how it will play out, but it will. I am continuously growing, changing and exploring. Sometimes it is an exhausting fearful process, and other times I am as sure as the sun is bright. I guess that is all for now. *shoulder shrug*
Peace,
MAB
PS...As I read this I also realized it is easier to share this way than in a more intimate setting (face to face) *another shoulder shrug*
Anywho....I got waaaaaay off topic. I hadn't been sharing and I miss that. Not only sharing my thought but sharing the things and experiences that inspire me to be better, things that make me laugh, things that make me shake my head and things that make me go....hmmmmm ;-) I will be revamping the out look over the next few weeks. To help express the growth and development that has been occurring within me over the last few months. Some changes I won't share immediately but I will get to it, and others as I feel them and experience them I will let em rip and post immediately.
Who knows how it will play out, but it will. I am continuously growing, changing and exploring. Sometimes it is an exhausting fearful process, and other times I am as sure as the sun is bright. I guess that is all for now. *shoulder shrug*
Peace,
MAB
PS...As I read this I also realized it is easier to share this way than in a more intimate setting (face to face) *another shoulder shrug*
Friday, January 20, 2012
Trust In Me
The first time I ever heard this song. I worked at T-Mobile(actually it was Omnipoint then) and the store was empty. I was feeling kind of lost to be honest and was looking for some kind of direction. I felt like it was a call from God to be honest. A few months later I was able to leave my job and spend the Summer in London.
Thank you and R.I.P Ms. Etta James
Thank you and R.I.P Ms. Etta James
Monday, January 16, 2012
Thanksgiving- Thank you Dr. King
So today as I was walking home from Trader Joe's I thought to myself,"today feels like Thanksgiving." There was a deep feeling of fall in the air, plus with the holiday the streets in Toluca Lake were kind of quiet. Then it dawned on me... Today is really my Thanksgiving! We are in the midst of giving honor to a man who had an immense vision to change the injustices with the most revolutionary act possible...LOVE
So I give thanks that because of him I am able to write this blog. In large because of his vision, perseverance and dedication I have freedoms that many of my ancestors were not privy to. I am thankful for Dr. King and people like him who fought the good fight not just for themselves, but for the generations that were yet to be born. I give thanks because I was able to walk freely to and from Trader Joe's. Simple things that I sometimes over look and/or take for granted.
So as I extend my gratitude to the Spirit of the man, the Spirit that drove the man, the same Spirit that dwells within each and everyone of us. I look at the ancestors who shoulders we stand on and know that whether acknowledge it or not we are individually building a legacy that others will stand on. Knowing this fact, and understanding my responsibilities allows me to, better yet, requires me to make more conscious decisions based on Love.
So I give thanks that because of him I am able to write this blog. In large because of his vision, perseverance and dedication I have freedoms that many of my ancestors were not privy to. I am thankful for Dr. King and people like him who fought the good fight not just for themselves, but for the generations that were yet to be born. I give thanks because I was able to walk freely to and from Trader Joe's. Simple things that I sometimes over look and/or take for granted.
So as I extend my gratitude to the Spirit of the man, the Spirit that drove the man, the same Spirit that dwells within each and everyone of us. I look at the ancestors who shoulders we stand on and know that whether acknowledge it or not we are individually building a legacy that others will stand on. Knowing this fact, and understanding my responsibilities allows me to, better yet, requires me to make more conscious decisions based on Love.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Apocalypse
"And when the topic is topicless, then I'm writing the apocalypse." Rakim
Today Rev. Michael talked briefly about the world around us about to crumble. In substance he was talking about the political and financial systems as we know it, and how it was necessary for something beautiful to be re-birthed. I personally connected to this idea because so many of the things I had hoped for are crumbling around me and it was easy for me to get in a rut and not see the beauty also being birthed. In times of "despair" it is real easy to get enthralled in the appearance of lack and limitation, and because like attracts like more of that dominant thought then appears and a cycle begins. Then I put up a resistance to what is happening what just in turn fans the flames and now a blaze of negativity is overwhelming my psyche and I am just about ready to explode! Yeah...plus I am dramatic to boot so I wig out pretty easily when these occurrences happen.
Recognition is the key...
There is a quote about water that in essence says it is the most powerful force because it offers no resistance...the is more to the quote but for me the important this is to stop resisting and give the thoughts and energy nothing to resist and fight against. Non-resistance has also been a theme as of late. The messages are there I have been just so caught up in stuff to recognize them. Life is really about choices. I am sooooo good at motivating others when they are "down", but rarely do I follow or practice what I preach. So now I choose to direct that inspirational motivating energy inward. Having those daily Conversations With God and Self, and seeing the beauty being birthed right Now. The dream is only as far off as I allow it to be.
Today Rev. Michael talked briefly about the world around us about to crumble. In substance he was talking about the political and financial systems as we know it, and how it was necessary for something beautiful to be re-birthed. I personally connected to this idea because so many of the things I had hoped for are crumbling around me and it was easy for me to get in a rut and not see the beauty also being birthed. In times of "despair" it is real easy to get enthralled in the appearance of lack and limitation, and because like attracts like more of that dominant thought then appears and a cycle begins. Then I put up a resistance to what is happening what just in turn fans the flames and now a blaze of negativity is overwhelming my psyche and I am just about ready to explode! Yeah...plus I am dramatic to boot so I wig out pretty easily when these occurrences happen.
Recognition is the key...
There is a quote about water that in essence says it is the most powerful force because it offers no resistance...the is more to the quote but for me the important this is to stop resisting and give the thoughts and energy nothing to resist and fight against. Non-resistance has also been a theme as of late. The messages are there I have been just so caught up in stuff to recognize them. Life is really about choices. I am sooooo good at motivating others when they are "down", but rarely do I follow or practice what I preach. So now I choose to direct that inspirational motivating energy inward. Having those daily Conversations With God and Self, and seeing the beauty being birthed right Now. The dream is only as far off as I allow it to be.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Fed Up
“The Democrats think Republicans are stealing elections. The Republicans think Democrats are stealing elections. And those of us independent of the two old parties know they are both right.” Kevin Zeese
So here we go again, another election cycle has come and gone and the pre and post rhetoric sounds just about the same to me. We keep hearing about how this demographic want "their country" back and how fed up they are with the party in power; only to give "power" back to the other party who was just as equally(or more) jacked up in the first place. We then hear promises of how this party will now rescind the agenda of the last party to appease the will of their constituents which inevitably will then piss of other constituents who will then come out to vote and the whole ugly(and sometime useless) cycle will repeat itself once again.
Yeah...
The voter turnout yesterday was 42%! WTF! How can we celebrate anything when well over half the country has been so turned off by the process that they don't care. In 2008 the voter turnout (which was considered extremely high) was 56.8%...seriously! Since 1960 only Poland and Switzerland have a lower turnout among "developed nations". There are many factors that go into this equation other than voter apathy, like the fact that some other country hold their elections on weekends and some over a 2 day period to make sure voters get out. Which brings up the question, why won't we move our elections to better accommodate the working class voters who may not be able to get to a polling place easily on a Tuesday? The conspiracy theorist in me believes because they don't want them involved in the process, but I am sure there is another valid "reason".
Anywho...
So yes I too am pissed and fed up. I am fed up with a broken system that people refuse to acknowledge is broken. I am fed up with people doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I am fed up with a system that ignores the working poor and "underprivileged". I am fed up with a system that has allowed its school systems to erode to ridiculous lows. I am fed up with a media that ignores any independent candidate who doesn't dress funny and come up with outlandish(albeit true and hilarious) slogans. I am fed up with candidates who won't tell you what they stand for, but instead pay millions on negative attacks ads! I am fed up that I will have to more than likely go through this same scenario in another 2 or 4 years! I am fed up that our education system will continue to erode, those who need work will continue to need work. I am fed up and resigned to the fact that it will only get worse before it gets better.
So here we go again, another election cycle has come and gone and the pre and post rhetoric sounds just about the same to me. We keep hearing about how this demographic want "their country" back and how fed up they are with the party in power; only to give "power" back to the other party who was just as equally(or more) jacked up in the first place. We then hear promises of how this party will now rescind the agenda of the last party to appease the will of their constituents which inevitably will then piss of other constituents who will then come out to vote and the whole ugly(and sometime useless) cycle will repeat itself once again.
Yeah...
The voter turnout yesterday was 42%! WTF! How can we celebrate anything when well over half the country has been so turned off by the process that they don't care. In 2008 the voter turnout (which was considered extremely high) was 56.8%...seriously! Since 1960 only Poland and Switzerland have a lower turnout among "developed nations". There are many factors that go into this equation other than voter apathy, like the fact that some other country hold their elections on weekends and some over a 2 day period to make sure voters get out. Which brings up the question, why won't we move our elections to better accommodate the working class voters who may not be able to get to a polling place easily on a Tuesday? The conspiracy theorist in me believes because they don't want them involved in the process, but I am sure there is another valid "reason".
Anywho...
So yes I too am pissed and fed up. I am fed up with a broken system that people refuse to acknowledge is broken. I am fed up with people doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I am fed up with a system that ignores the working poor and "underprivileged". I am fed up with a system that has allowed its school systems to erode to ridiculous lows. I am fed up with a media that ignores any independent candidate who doesn't dress funny and come up with outlandish(albeit true and hilarious) slogans. I am fed up with candidates who won't tell you what they stand for, but instead pay millions on negative attacks ads! I am fed up that I will have to more than likely go through this same scenario in another 2 or 4 years! I am fed up that our education system will continue to erode, those who need work will continue to need work. I am fed up and resigned to the fact that it will only get worse before it gets better.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
I don't Understand
"...Lean not on your own understanding..." Proverbs 3:5
It has been a long minute since I blogged about anything. So much has been goings on the last few months since I have blogged. A lot of ups and downs...starting and stopping, resisting and confronting. The one common ground through that whole time was a lack of trust in the Divine Order. I kept trying to do it myself once again and would get more frustrated each and everytime. It is like I had a shovel and kept digging...refusing to put the damn shovel down because I knew If i dug a little further there would be the answer. My answer was to keep moving...keep it moving...don't stop....and I didn't understand why I was so tired and wore down.
Well last week I had had enough. I was ready to call it a day...change course completely...although I hadn't quite decided what giving up meant. Then a voice came into my head like a parent talking to a child..."are you ready to be still now?" And the answer was and is yes. I don't have to do it alone. I have a vast array of support that starts and ends with God. As Wayne Dyer so eloquently said, "there is a spiritual solution to every problem." The trick for me is being still long enough to ask and receive...
It has been a long minute since I blogged about anything. So much has been goings on the last few months since I have blogged. A lot of ups and downs...starting and stopping, resisting and confronting. The one common ground through that whole time was a lack of trust in the Divine Order. I kept trying to do it myself once again and would get more frustrated each and everytime. It is like I had a shovel and kept digging...refusing to put the damn shovel down because I knew If i dug a little further there would be the answer. My answer was to keep moving...keep it moving...don't stop....and I didn't understand why I was so tired and wore down.
Well last week I had had enough. I was ready to call it a day...change course completely...although I hadn't quite decided what giving up meant. Then a voice came into my head like a parent talking to a child..."are you ready to be still now?" And the answer was and is yes. I don't have to do it alone. I have a vast array of support that starts and ends with God. As Wayne Dyer so eloquently said, "there is a spiritual solution to every problem." The trick for me is being still long enough to ask and receive...
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