The Isolationist

I noticed this morning that I was doing it again. I was putting up my emotional force field again. I was protecting myself from what I deem the inevitable and throwing up false alerts to warn me of imminent danger. I realize it is all in my mind and an excuse I have relied on all to often.

My isolation are rarely of the physical kind(well maybe they are) but more on the emotional nature. I am there in physical form but not nearly like I should be to receive the very thing that I am blocking myself from.

I hide behind the belief system that was instilled in me long ago...things like you can't have it all and it'll never last or it is too good to be true. Now that I know differently I have to respond differently. Act(believe) accordingly for my desired results to be revealed.

Yeah...

So what I am saying is I need to be open to experience multiple forms of blessings simultaneously if you will. My creative pursuits don't have to stagnate my personal pursuits and vice versa... I keep putting an either or ultimatum on myself when it is more than possible for it all to coexist and be beautiful and readily available. While doing away with the empty calorie way of living. Doing a lot just to say I am but not showing or feeling anything internally for my efforts.

The beauty in all this is recognition. Now that I recognize what is happening I can change it, improve it or whatever is necessary.