Overwhelming/Finding my space

With the proliferation of media outlets feeding our brains with fear based reporting, it is imperative for those of us who still want to remain active in the process to find time and a space to unwind and rejuvenate our mind, body and soul.

 

Why are ye so fearful?

"And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?" 
Mark 4:40

Let me first that I picked that version of the parable because it is from the book of Mark. Kidding. Kind of. Anyway, as I was going through my twitter feed today checking out tweets and just observing the variety of tweets that people post. Some are direct and some beat around the bush, some clever and others mean spirited. I came across some folks though that don't care and not in the negative way at all, but they have a point to make and they will say it. I don't know if that is my style but I applaud and appreciate the boldness, and not just boldness for the sake of being bold but also with (in my opinion) a valid beef, point or observation. Boldness also doesn't have to be loud and obnoxious, and I think we have misconstrued the two. We have managed to equate boldness and strength with loudness and in affect managed to watch a whole of lot strong men and women get turned away and frustrated because their needs were not met. As a society we lose out because this, valuable resources are lost and communities get overlooked and turned away. 

So, yeah what does this have to do with fear and me? I am glad you asked. I've kind of looked at film-making and art as my voice and the way that I speak and get my point across. Today I realized that may not be enough for me. I was having a conversation with a friend of mine right before I moved from L.A. and at the end of the conversation she said to me, "I didn't know you were so political." I was shocked at myself because social activism and politics are important to me (not the political parties mind you) and I had managed to not speak up on it. Which brings my to the fearful part, because of my  leanings are sometimes very far from the mainstream and some would even call radical I feared getting into confrontations over it. I am very passionate about things and often my conversations on politics (and Tyler Perry movies) get heated. So I managed to kind of just let things ride and keep my views to myself. As I look for balance and serenity in my life I need to find ways to release and discuss my feelings without getting heated or worry about ridicule or being  right. 

I really don't go back to often and check my prior posts. I think one day I will just grab a cup of  green tea and read away. I am sure or at least hope I have had some posts that talk about my feeling on politics and how I feel socially about things. If not here is a quick breakdown. Real quick. Mainstream media is whack (biased and uninformative)! We need a third party (fourth and fifth too), we need major education re-haul where nothing is left off the table (even questioning the unions role in its decline) I don't care for either major party. One is better than the other but both have serious flaws. Yeah, anyway this post when I first started was about changing my thoughts, I realize that some don't need changing just verbalizing them in a productive way.

Freestyling

This is just me freestyling on thoughts of the day. Randomness at its finest.

Heavy Heart

Today I heard that a great friend of mine passed away a few weeks ago. Even though we had not spoken in a little while, the impact of his kindness, generosity and humor will always be with me. My prayers go out to all who have lost a loved one recently. Cherish the relationships in your life. They are important and necessary. Much Love. 

Peace

No control

Relinquishing control over our lives can be challenging for those of us who feel we have no control to begin with.

Projections Of The Way Life Used To Be.

So today while having a conversation with a great friend of mine, I was about project my fears on spending, saving and loot in general. As I was about to express my opinion I stopped myself for a couple reasons. Well really one reason...HE DIDN'T ASK ME! Basically had I shared my opinion it would have been Ego and fear driven based on my own insecurities. 

To often in life we are too willing to share when it isn't warranted or welcomed. We have to know when what we our sharing is a help or a hindrance. The human ego is a powerful tool! I don't believe it is always as bad as people make it out to be when used properly so to speak. It has allowed me to know when to say when and when to push through.  It can be useful when trained to be. 

So I guess the moral of the story is to STAY IN YOUR OWN LANE! Unless someone asks you to merge.

Dreams vs Fantasy

So a few things have been on my mind lately...actually quite a few things...on the top of the list what makes something a dream and what makes it a fantasy...


is it other peoples opinions on the matter?

is it the realistic chance of obtaining such thought?

is it a matter of right place, right time?

Chance?

It has been on my mind for various reason...In my life I've been caller a dreamer (I'll take that) and that I live in a fantasy world (hmmm...not so much...well maybe)  

I mean there is a difference between wanting to marry the model on the cover of SI swimsuit issue and  setting your sights on being an artist, writer or ventriloquist right?

Who determines this though?

Is there a difference between obsessing on something and focusing on it?

I dunno...

Just random thoughts...

Keep dreaming and keep believing I say...

The Masks We Wear

So this morning I saw an article warning police officers to wear masks in downtown LA because of a TB outbreak. The thought that popped into my head was how we as a society are warned on a daily basis to wear many masks of different sorts. We become accustomed to masking our true feeling, our real wants and our deepest desires. We live in fear of really being free and hide behind masks of mediocrity and complacency. We wear many masks and many of them are rarely our own.

The Love

Every hero needs a theme song...

What Drives You?

Vulnerable

We 
All 
Need 
Someone 
We 
Can 
Be 
Vulnerable 
With
That is all...

The side effects of this are pretty scary...

One in the morning

One in the morning...felt the need to say some things...

Perfect Timing

We are in a vital place in out human development!


So many things are shifting and changing!

What was the status quo is no longer relevant.

Compassion and understanding is what we need...

People have to stand up and speak up!

The time is now...


Some times shit is drastic and we gotta shout to make a point...

The Door

This is a beautifully shot film. It is inspires me as an artist and filmmaker.

Tribute

About my Uncle Cherokee who passed away yesterday. 

Going Somewhere...

Well to be quite honest I don't know where this post is going, but I felt the need to write something. It has been on my heart and mind to just sit down and write. I really  don't know where this one will be going but hopefully it will go somewhere. It has to. It has been two months since I have been back in Brooklyn but  it seems like six months or so. I know that is a random arbitrary thing but the point is that it really does seem a lot longer. I have not been out as much over the last few weeks and it shows. When I looked into the mirror today I looked like Damon Wayans character in The Great White Hype when  he gained weight but mostly in his gut. My new gig has me working from home and over the 6 months that I've been doing it I have been, for lack of a better word, lazy. My walking and exercising has virtually stopped and that too is beginning to show. There are times that I am in denial that I am getting older  and being able to eat whatever and sit on my ass obviously isn't an option any more. I understand the notion that age is only in your mind, and I subscribe to that theory no doubt; but some physical things that come with living are undeniable. So my goal this week is to walk every morning before I start work because I know that once I finish working that is a rap. I pride myself in being physically fit, so it is imperative that I maintain that.

Speaking of which the other day my blood pressure was off the charts high. To be honest I was quite frightened. The second and third times it came down, but still it is time to get a physical. One of the things that happened when I first got back here was that I ate out a lot, and not always from the best restaurants. Places like the local Chinese or Caribbean joint and they are not always the most healthy place to catch a grub even if it is the "vegetarian" dishes. On that note, I have been toying with adding fish back into my diet, no other seafood though just fish. I don't really feel much of a difference, they say it is good for your heart so we will see. It won't be an everyday, week or month thing just every now and then if I decide to keep doing it.  Okay, so back to my blood pressure, it runs deep on both sides of my family. I truly believe that part of that is that folks eat massive amounts of meat and whatnot but I have eaten meat in years...unless you include fish...but it still seems to be an issue for me. So I have not bought salt in my new crib and I use alternate seasonings to season my food. It is taking time to adjust because I am used to heavy seasoning on my food. Even my veggies. Now my body (or is it my mind)  is craving salt, once I get it under control I will figure out when to add salt and to what. but for now I cut out any seasoning with a high amount of sodium in it. It is best for now.

In going through some old emails, I realized that it has been three years since I filmed Casual Friday, my short film. I have written quite a few scripts in that time, but nothing has really come from them yet. I actually like most of them, and am really anxious to get back behind a camera. So in addition to getting my walk on before I start working I will be working on a plan to get some of these scripts filmed. I have access to a few things it is just a matter of just getting it done and stop making excuses about why it can't be done. Complacency is a pretty dangerous thing! I was about to call it a drug, but yeah you get the point. It is time to put in some work. One because I admire a lot of the web series and independent films that are coming out right about now, two because I am immensely competitive and three because I feel like I have learned so much since Casual Friday about the process of filmmaking. The last 3 years were a real growing experience for me.  A lot of ideas about who I am or who I thought I was were shattered. Which was/is a good thing.  The end process is that I am becoming a good filmmaker, but an even better person. That is the most important thing.


Here is a snippet of my block during the blizzard last night....

Vid Blog

 

First Vid Blog...I say um a lot but....yeah...trying new things, breaking out of my comfort zones...

Dr. King

 

 

Nuff Said!

The Newness revisited

Wow, so I haven't posted here since August. Time flies and to be quite honest I kind of forgot this was here until today. A lot has transpired since my last post. My Aunt who is very special to me passed away, I left the LA to return to Brooklyn and I gave away a majority of my possessions. I feel freer than I have in many years and I have no expectations of what I think tomorrow should look like. I truly don't know and really don't want to know. I like being in the moment right now. It has really very little to do with the New Year since I am not the resolution type of dude, but I am committed to embracing the changes I made in 2012 and expanding them from here on out. It is important to know where I am going and I like who I am in getting there. Life is Good. God is Good . And So It Is.