Growing Pains...Or something like that

Trust
Truth
Love
Hope
Compassion
Honesty
Integrity
Choice
Richness
Silence
Gratitude
Joy
Liberation
Freedom
Fullness
Sentimental
Creativity
Generosity
...

Looking in the mirror I see the reflection of the cracking soul and spiritual stretch marks. I am eager to be something new, different and yes better, but along the way I keep seeming to forget that sometimes time is the only thing that will work. Giving me time to look at myself. Giving myself time to "smell the roses". Giving myself a space to be wrong, to err and to regroup. I see what I am capable of...matter of fact I know what I am capable of and because of that I get frustrated with myself when I don't live up to what I know I could be. I put way too much pressure on myself. I stress over the trivial aspects and the minute details. It is not working for me. There is a gap between what I do and what I should do.

Accountable
Responsible
Trustworthy
Humble
Strong
Sincere
Secure


I often see glimpses of the ideal me, then it fades. The me I know I should be. Doing the good that needs to be done...moving beyond that self absorbed person. Releasing the blame of a past that is long gone and standing fully aware that this moment is truly controllable. The goodness of the moment is not merely chance or a fluke, but it is the way my life should be lived. Daily... Speaking in the affirmative is not something I do often. It has been easier to not commit...to keep my options open and all that jazz, but in the long run(and short one too) I get uncommitted results. Or should I say inconsistent responses from myself, the Universe and every one and thing involved. It is imperative that I be able to assess my progress(or lack thereof) without blaming myself and being harsh when I feel I fall short. Critiquing without being critical is the best way I can think to say it.

Wise
Funny
Eclectic
Passionate
Smiley
Energetic
Powerful

No rhyme or reason necessary. It is what it is. Do my best at any given time, and know that great results will manifest out of it. Don't be afraid that the worse will happen. Enter into it seeing the best results already happening. Speak to myself in an affirmative tone regularly and believe it. Stop the word play and live from a deeper place. Be it. Stop running. Be Still. Have Faith. Envision it. Recognize the inherent beauty that is naturally there. Stop playing small to fit in. Yeah...something like that...no...exactly that. Yes.